What is Oprah teaching my Parents?! August 31st

Hiii Guys

I'm sorry for the delay I was away visiting my parents in Florida. And I swear my mother zapped my energy! lol. Lesma is no joke and what I thought was going to be a very uneventful trip turned out to be Crazy! There were two particular episodes that I need to shine some light on, however today we will talk about one, simply because I'm still trying to figure out the other unexpected foolishness that went down.

So you remember a while back I told you guys that my mother read my blog and told my father that it was a "whole heap of sex talk", although you might not have been able to read my nervousness through the blog, I really was. I mean shit Lesma reading this could never be a good thing. Growing up my mother was very very strict! Boys weren't allowed to call the house until I moved out! lol. Seriously I think I was about 19 years old before my mother thought that phone conversation with a boy was appropriate.
Senior year when the subject of the Prom came up, I basically had to tell her that I was going with my Best Friend Hope. All that was important was school, and keeping the house tidy!

Naturally I didn't know what to expect now that Lesma was a voyager in my "dirty" world of blogging. I did think it was odd that I didn't get a scolding phone call from her asking me if this was the way she raised me? But I thought for sure, If I'm down there for a week the words and questions are going to be flying so I better get ready!
But nothing could prepare me for what actually happened in Florida with the Spences.

Late Wednesday evening I was sitting on the couch chatting foolishness with daddy while my mommy was roller setting her hair in the bathroom. I noticed that daddy was having some side conversation with a woman via text {Wayne and his texting boy}.I immediately start playing with both my parents saying" If you were my husband you couldn't text no woman, I would clip him!" lol. My father finds this hilarious and uses the moment to quip" please Nicole what man would marry you" lol This is how me and my daddy always play. All of a sudden mommy comes out the bathroom, and she's like " Nicole you just tell him, for me, all of a sudden he's telling me I need to start wearing Thongs"! WHAT!!!!!! Uhm excuse me?? My nervous laughter filled the room! What the hell is going on in this house??!! My mind began to wander " shit Aunt Jasmine did say she took mommy to Victoria's Secret the other day, which I thought was very strange I don't think Lesma has ever been there, I mean maybe for the lotions but that's it. I mean I thought maybe she picked out some high cut briefs not THONGS!!!! WTF!! Whew I didn't need that visual, but then the conversation got worse! Lesma wasn't done airing him out. lol She goes on about how Daddy was watching Dr. Oz, you know Oprah's homeboy, and Dr. Oz told him that if he lost half of his belly he would have longer D**k!!! I know my Uncle Mark{daddy's brother} and Maurice are gasping for air right now! Yup Lesma said D**K!! I have never ever heard her say those words ever, and my ears will never ever be same! Even my father looked shocked as we both screamed out in Laughter! TMI Mommy, TMI!! My father and I usually go running in the am, and he is always focusing extra hard on holding in his belly, now this shit makes soo much sense! My parents are nasty! lol.

But what has happened here? Do my parents think that because I openly write about Sex and Relationships that we can now openly discuss their relationship? Uhm not sure if I'm 100% ready for that one, but it is cute that they could still be getting it in at 60ish! I guess we already know there ain't no hope for me, since I'm a Spence I'll probably want till I'm about 80! lol Which reminds me I should dedicate a blog to the Spence men, for they are 100% responsible for the beautiful Man that I am today! Jokes.. Muah!!

NicoleSpence.ME