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Lost One! "no sex day 19" August 30th

2010-08-30T12:16:00.001-07:00

Hello good people.
Ahh what's up?

Still no sexin going on! "Whatever" So with that said today's story isn't just about some stupid boy, its also about my girl Jenny! You guys know how I love my Golden Girls.

Although I'm the smallest one I have the most fire! And when something goes wrong in their world, I take it very personally and I try my best to rectify the situation.

Picture it, its the year 2000 in boogie down Bronx, my cousin and I are living together. Upon hearing that her man was cheating and doing her dirty, we head out to the club!"F*ck him girl f*ck him" As soon as I see him in the club I GO OFF, all in his face," what you think this is fool?" And in foxy brown &lil kim mode we go outside and gear up to slash his tires!". That's what friends are for! Lol We Break for one another!

Fast forward present day, still dealing with stupid boys, unfortunately this stupid boy has played a part in Jenny and I temporarily breaking up.

Now as I unload yet another personal story on you guys, I truly want your advice," AM I bugging?"

Here goes : " Que Ashanti, Foolish for the soundtrack."

Jenny has been dating this guy "Travis" for a while now. One minute things appear cool, he's up under her all day every day."Come meet my mama!" And the next he's M.I.A. "Yup typical stupid boy bullshit!" But Travis always pulls this episode because he insists upon squatting at Jenny's apartment when she's not home! " Huh?" Exactly! Dude is like a nomad! He's supposedly in between situations (mama house and Nowhere's-ville) so when he's hanging out in the city, he likes the convenience of being able to stay at her crib. When her response isn't what he wants to hear "No", he goes disappearing! I'm talking about for a week and some change. He ignores all her reaching out attempts, literally disappears!

When they finally do speak, they go at it! She calls it quits. Of course every time she tells me this I become enraged! "He's using you!" I Bark. "Cut the shit! He's a bum! You can't trust that fool!" Now initially she might not be able to swallow what I'm saying, but we always get back on track. Through his actions she realizes" Nic's right, I don't need him"!

But you know how this story goes, don't cha? They need up getting back together! I don't judge, I love her! Now here is when shit gets crazy! He pulls another stinkin' episode! This time when he pulls his disappearing act, its followed by his" ex girl" calling Jenny's job! " Leave my man alone, get a clue" wtf?? Say what now? Yup" ex girl" was calling Jenny's phone and job! When she finally got a hold of that Loser! He admits to be fucking "ex girl", even in ol girl's presence while Jenny ripped him a new one! Talking bout " she went through my phone and got your number!" "Well that's even more proof how p@ssy he is, he got you all out there like that" I screamed!

Whew !I get heated just thinking about the level of disrespect! So you already know how mad I got when Jenny told me they got back together!!!" What?! You take him back with no real time in the Dog house, are you serious? You know the only way to train a dog is to rub his nose in his shit! Yelling is useless!" I got so mad I told her I can't speak to you anymore, I need to take a break from our friendship! I just felt at the time like that's the only thing I could do or say, to such insane behavior! I'm going to act crazy too! Am I wrong? Well let me say this I know I'm wrong to a certain extent, because our friendship is more important. And I'm sure she knows if she needs me I would be there in a second but I wanted to ring her neck! I seem to have a hard time sitting on the sidelines watching a freak show!

What should I do? Am I totally F-ed up? Does anyone understand where I'm coming from? Or should I run to Jenny with my tail between my legs and tell her Sorry :(

www.NicoleSpence.me

No Sex I Said! Day 7

2010-08-18T09:21:00.000-07:00

So I've been getting a lot of reaction to my No sex revelation. Some feel like I'm not going to do it! Can I blame them? Hell no considering I'm the first one to tell you "get rid of that Zero if he ain't no Sex hero!"

Those that didn't flat out say I couldn't do it, felt the need to chime in and question why sex would be so important to me in the first place. That inquiry introduced the necessity to explain to me that its not the sex between a man and woman that's important, its the connection.
" Listen sucka I get that" but even when I feel like we can be all that, the sex is wack wack, and I won't be sticking around for that shit, why front?

Sex is sex and love is love, I know the difference, and still want both! Geez!

I just openly have to admit that maybe while chasing one, the other is getting away. Let's be clear I don't miss any of the dudes that I ran off on, so to my credit I do think I'm a good sifter of the bullshit. But eventually I'm going to have to build with someone, and I know that. I just don't know how! I'm too busy thinking bout the Johnson.

A guy friend of mine thinks I'm a nut case to even attempt to deprive myself of something so good. This young philosopher eloquently put to me, that "Sex with no attachment is like someone who smokes weed everyday, as long as it doesn't get in the way of your day to day, its all good"! Right on young Socrates! lol.
But I don't have a problem with attachment, my problem is I'm never Attached! I never want to turn any of this into something. I love the nothings!

I'm the Dog that stays up under you because I want the bone! Not because I want a relationship but you have the D so that's where I want to be!

So this time off is going to help me put things back into perspective.
"What do you really want Nicole?"

You guys all know by now that my bed is barely ever jumping anyway. I turn on and off like a switch! Even though this no sex thing came about this month, the last time I had sex was June and before that January with Mr. Randy. My last session wasn't bad, it was Good.

The "brick layer" is a good friend of mine and we mutually decided to take it there based on all the flirting games we've been playing for a while, "You know you're my girl right? And you're my boyfriend" that type of BS.

Both high off the sex, we decided to keep the fire burning even though he doesn't live in NYC! Let's just call him "Country"

Anyway as quickly as Country turned me on, he turned me off! We became twitter friends! "Ugh bad decision." Through following his twitter life, I became so turned off! No he wasn't doing any crazy freaky shit on there, he was just talking too much, like a girl. Lol. Even as I yelled at him about it, he Tweeted it: "Just received an hour long verbal lashing!" Lol!
So immediately I did what I always do, cut that shit off! Now I could never imagine myself sleeping with this Chatty Cathy again, although he'll always be my homie!

In short, I just don't want to be so hungry anymore. I need to make sure he deserves to be fed!

Shoot speaking of eating, I have a date tomorrow night! And its one of those 3rd dates, where the last time we hung out there was heavy over/under the shirt touching, nipple caressing! I know this brother isn't going to feel no sex till august 2011, stay tuned for his reaction to the Newness!

Oh and as far as the oral and hand jobs go, we'll just keep that as a case by case situation! No one is trying to be a Saint over here! So I'm not quitting everything! Lol I told you I'm a work in progress, Geez Louise!

www.NicoleSpence.me

Been gone for a Minute.. August 11th

2010-08-11T08:07:00.000-07:00

Now I'm back with the Jump Off!! Lol. Hiiii guys, I'm back! Did you miss me? I missed the shit outta ya'll but you know I can be flaky and my new job has been soaking up all my time :/ So forgive me for not writing since April! That's some BS I know! But in true Nicole fashion I'm ready to jump right back in, and dish about my life and all the frogs I've been kissing, and since I'm still single you know those Mofo's remained Frogs, not a Prince in sight!
So let's see what's been up?
Well I recently celebrated my 31st birthday (May 30th) and I'm using the word "celebrate" very loosely. Simply put I really didn't do much of anything. Birthday came and went and nothing romantic went down. My love life actually sucks right now, boring and lame as ever. I won't be bringing back any of the old characters from my previous blogs, so we can forget all about all of them. I'm ready for some new stuff, but lately I've been wondering if I put too much emphasis on Sex! Let's be clear Sex will always be a love of mine, I'm a Spence it’s in my genes. But I am going to take some time off from it!" What??" Yeaaa Yo, I'm thinking a Year with no sex will do my body right! Not because I'm over sexed and feeling the urge to tighten up. Lol. But honestly I can't tell the last time I got the Sex I wanted with the intensity and frequency in which I wanted it. So this reflection got me thinking, it’s a good time to get out the Game. Gotta stop thinking with my Box so much. Lol. All jokes aside I'm serious! No fucking for a 1year! I've actually done a bid like this before, just not on purpose. Lol.

This should be an interesting ride for you guys to accompany me with. And if I slip up and something falls inside, I'll be honest and fess up. I'm human shit! But this again is the goal. I've also decided to arm my Pilates certification with another love of mine YOGA! Yup I'll be teaching Yoga just in time for Christmas. Shoooottt maybe being a Yogi will help me center on other things instead of the 3legged monster! Lol.

Ahh but just because I won't be getting any, doesn't mean my girls won't be... And you know I like to dish on their escapades too! So there will be SEX chat! This will always be the destination for SEX LOVE and Cellulite! Lol

Eh so bye for now! BRB!
Wait does Oral count as Sex? You know I'm a pleaser. And loved to be pleased! So weigh IN are Oral games and Hand jobs are they allowed? Lol

I Thought I liked him then we had Sex!

2010-04-12T08:54:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody,

Today's story is one I can totally relate to. I can honestly say I'm not sure how I feel about someone until we have sex! "Oh you think I'm crazy?" Lol. Seriously I just can't! The way I see it, even if he's a really cool guy and we seem to make sense, if our bodies can't talk, we have nothing! "Let me hear your body talk, let's get physical!" I'm too much of a sexual person to really have to reinvent the wheel sexually! Yea I hear everyone saying sex isn't everything, and its not. But checking my list of priorities that one is a biggie! Talking to my older girlfriends some married, some divorced, and you know the song that they always seem to sing, “please you don't need sex, its fades after years anyway, his love, security, that's what's important". And I hear them I really, really do. I was in a relationship for years, sometimes the sex was poppin’ and other times, he's sneaking in from the side. Lol "Lazy Smashing!” But come on I'm only 30 years old, my sex life is supposed to bring the fire!

Why would I sign on to do any major time with someone, who couldn't satisfy my sexual needs? Case in point: A good friend of mine Janet started talking to this guy. These two completely hit it off; Janet is usually the girl who bashes relationships and men all together. But admittingly she was feeling this brother. Well, that is until they had sex! See Janet's new boo gave new definition to the word minuteman! “I didn't know they still made those!" Yup brother couldn't make it through a song! Determined not to give up, and sadden by the thought that she would have to drop this hero turned into a zero, she gave him another chance!

“You already, know that quick shit would have freaked me out and would have me running for the hills chanting down the good dick demigods! And just like I knew he would, Janet's boo failed again!

When asked what she should do. I told her to talk to him about it, since she clearly likes him. Let's face he should know how to control his nut by now, damn it! But still, have some open dialogue. I heard drinking some Guinness stout, my do the trick, either way there are stuff on the market to help. So if he's worth it, give it the ol’ college try, but honestly the 3-strike rule should apply to this repeat offender

Only Me I Swear! April 7th

2010-04-07T08:28:00.000-07:00

Ahhh Hi Guys!

So yesterday was a big day for me, I started a new job! I joined a great group of girls working in the Talent department @ BET, booking all shows including 106/Park, the Deal, and Specials! Yay!! Of course I was on a high, being back in my element. Immediately after I went out for Sushi and Sake with my new co works! The girls and I had the best time, I of course went in on the Sake and I was feeling fine!
The night was still kinda early so I took the train home. As soon I get on 2 train, I noticed that there a little space next to a very handsome Jamaican man, I knew he was Jamaican because the flag was on his little bracelet." Perfect! I'll sit next to him!" I politely asked him to make some room and he did so but barely looked up at me. Feeling the sake and high on my cool, I struck up a conversation by peeking over his shoulder at he was reading. "What is that about?" He told me it was blueprints for Plumbers! Cool, I'm thinking he's good with his hands :-). He seemed to be very engrossed with what he was reading, so I let him continue for a little before I interjected again and said " explain what I'm seeing to me" lol. It must have been the Sake!

This time our conversation flowed! He was nice, cute and funny. His name is actually Tyrone! I had to let him know that although I was enjoying the conversation I had to go, my stop was approaching. He quickly stated you could stay on and then just take the bus. I explained to him that I wasn't familiar with the bus, to that he stated he would accompany me on journey! Now I normally don't condone picking men up on the train and then allowing the to escort you home, but it could have been the sake or maybe I was just feeling his flow! Whatever it was I was still enjoying my night so I kept it going.

Once we got off the bus I was able to size the athletic 6'3 brother up, he was Nice. We walked about 2 short blocks home,and sat on the porch and talked some more, before I knew it was 1 am! I couldn't believe the time flew that fast, so I said I have to call you a cab I need to hit the sack!

This is when shit went Left like it always does in Nicole's world! I picked up his phone to call the cab, only to find out his phone is disconnected! He can't make outgoing calls!! Wtf??!! Are you kidding me?? Did we really just sit here and discuss my need to be with a Man that could handle his man shit, and this brother's phone is cut off! Needless to less that killed the whole night for me, I called the cab on my phone and sent his butt home! He seemed embarrassed as he should be, "Good Night!"

So can you believe this? Do you think I'm bugging would you ever call this dude, well you know when he's phone is back on? Lol

Mi Casa No Es Su Casa!

2010-03-30T15:03:00.000-07:00

In relationships I think the newness can be the most fun, spending a lot of quality time hugged up, kissy kissy. But the flip to the bliss, is that the newness is also the time, we can get a good glimpse of the bullshit that's yet to come! So keeping those love goggles on during can be quite hazardous!

I have the perfect example. A friend recently started dating this guy. I realized something exciting had to going on with her, because usually she is the 1st one down to party. But lately she's been busy; lets call her "Tamara". Tamara loved the lovin’ so much; she didn't pay attention to all the time he was spending at her pad! And she completely ignored the fact that this big di*k brother was in between living situations! In between like, just moved out of his ex’s place and is now living with his mama in Philly, and of course at crashing at hers. Ding! Ding! He lives with his mama at 33, why?? Honestly the fact that he just got out of a relationship, and is spending all this time at her place with his feet undoubtedly up, would also be a red flag for me!

But Tamara was feeling his smooth talking and mean slaying. Did I mention he is also not working? But you know sometimes big d*ck does all the talking; we've all been there! Lol. “Stop lying! Lol”

Then one day it seems Tamara was no longer convenient for him! See last week Tamara’s boo phoned her up wanting to sleepover. She explained to him that she was already out and another day would do. George then made a bold request, " I'll just stay at your place until you come back"! Uhm excuse me? Tamara reminded him that she has a roommate and that would be inappropriate! Thinking her new boo would totally understand, she continued enjoying her night. Imagine her surprise to find out she's been put on ICE! Yup! A whole week went by with no reach out, no response to all her inquiries nothing! Poor Tammy was honestly worried, about this Fool!

EH! Classic bullshit! When he was finally ready to talk, they spoke. George expressed how disappointed he was in her decision, and because of that a "time out" was needed, not a breakup just a "time out." Now after all of this was unloaded on my ears over Tequila shots Tammy asked me “what should I do?” I say: send that Baby Boy packing big d*ck and all, he’s not a Daddy he’s a Son! Frankly he needs to get himself together before he can even think about a relationship and extended stays. George might be the kind of guy that needs women holding him down completely, therefore enabling him, and he’ll never get his man shit together. Pfffft keep it moving, for sure Girl Sorry!”

I'll take Him, Him, and Him, just throw em in a Bag!!

2010-03-04T08:12:00.000-08:00

Don't you just wish we could shop for men like we do shoes, or anything we want? Alas dating has been anything but convenient!

But can I really complain about a “Man Shortage” if I haven’t really been giving it much energy? Let’s see I’m home every Friday night, with no socializing during the week that can’t be good. It’s not like he’s just going to ring my doorbell and say “I’m here Nicole take me!” My Lazy dating ways have stunted my twenties and I don’t want it to kill my thirties, definitely time for a different approach, and I think the Universe is trying to tell me the same thing.

The other night it was raining and snowing all types of crazy, my block kept experiencing brown outs, flickering of the lights on and off but no biggie. My cousin and I decided to just turn off all the lights, relax and enjoy the storm. All of sudden we notice lights coming from Fire Trucks! Instinctively we run to the window to see what was up. Out side the window there were 4 firemen working on the cable line directly in front of my house. When I asked what happened, a very tall dark deep voice shadowy figure stated, " that there has been some electrical problems due to the storm..blah blah". I smiled as I told him " we were fine up here". That's when he said: " Let me come up there and check?" What??" " Did he just say that, like that?" Ok, you might be asking yourself "so what"? Well me and my, non-going out behind, was like "oh snap!" My cousin and I grew big eyed as we ran as fast as we could from the living room to the bedroom, to get my tie head off my hair, comb out my wrap, and tidy my appearance! All with the energy of " this could be it Girl"!! Lmao. Only to run half way downstairs to see my brother at the door, talking to ahh dark but not very handsome firefighter! " Uhm yea we're fine, good night!"

Eh so you see what I'm saying?? I went into total Lifetime TV mode, like its every going to be that easy! Geez!

So what's the answer? Should I start going out at least 2x a week, you know totally dive into the social scene?

I was talking to one of my besties, and she told me that her sister met the, dopest guy online recently! " Shut up! Are you serious?” Yep! This adventurous 32year old single New York City girl took her love search by the balls and enjoyed Match.com! I couldn't believe it. And the guy she met is like a Principle or something with no kids! Are you freaken kidding me???

You know I'm dramatic so I start filling out the profile while on the phone, and of course she felt the need to say " remember what I told you Nicole you can't have everything, he might come in a different package." Ugh Jihan and her shortie reminders, I don't want any short man. Lol.

Sooo that's it, I'm on match.com, and this is only the beginning I'll of course keep your guys informed with the Babes and the Lames! I did a 3 months membership at about $22 dollars, which is basically what you have to spend anyway if you leave your house and go out for food/drinks with hopes there will be at least 1 cutie in the building! Ya know what I'm saying???

Here’s to another day on my Good Health, Tight Body and Great Sex plan!!

Ugly but True! February 3rd

2010-02-03T16:00:00.000-08:00

It's no secret since I let you guys into my world that sometimes my bed is a rocking, and other times like now, ain't shit poppin! Ugh.

I'm not sure if it’s just me but when I'm sexin', I'm working out even harder during the down time in between sessions! But when the down time stretches out too long, into months, my attitude worsens and the empty calorie cravings deepen! True story Sex keeps me skinny!

So for all the good things that my mouth has been missing I've been substituting my oral urge with the other Chocolate! " Fudge Cake"! “Oh no” is right! How is eating cake going to get me any closer to favorite past time and the sweetest treat??" Uhm its not!" Like I said before men are visual creatures, gotta keep their eyes on the prize! Well for that matter so am I shoooot! I definitely want something to look at in the bedroom, and want to demand that he remain naked the entire day or lose me forever!

So for a while now I've been doing, teaching, and loving Pilates! A mind that tends to drift to sex at any point of her day, loves Pilates, because most positions require some good ol Kegel lifts! So even as I'm working my Abs, Legs, Thighs and Butt, my Yoni is being tightened too! Gotta love that shit right?

Again I've been eating a lot of Entenmanns Chocolate Fudge cake, so I had to step the cardio up and to jump back into Spin Classes! Pilates will tone/lengthen you, but to drop the LBS gotta do cardio. If you haven't taken a spin class I suggest you do! I'm talking about the best 45min cardio burn ever and a great compliment to Pilates!

The best part of these exercises for me, other than the “outer” is honestly the sexual aspect of it! Take spinning now, you're driving the pedal down with your arches (flex foot) all the weight pushing down and towards the back, abs pull in and up achieving a nice flat back, Core is engaged, and look at that now you're all set for “Back Shots!” Yay!!

What I realized is that while in my favorite position Doggie, I can really be working overtime by giving myself some Core work, and at the same time giving a better backyard visual for him. Assuming the position with your Abs pulling in and up, Shoulders down and back, creating a long lean flat Back, as opposed to plopping into position Belly all loose Hunch Back! Lol. Let’s not be that in the moment think “Porn Star”. lol
Now throw in a Kegel lift, squeeze that man, you're happy he's there!

The concept of keeping the Core engaged during (abs in& up) will help to train your belly to stay flat, no pouch!

Basically your working your mid section, as your Middle gets worked on! (Giggles). The cherry on top, Kegels will strengthen your pelvic floor, which gives us ladies a stronger orgasm (squirt anyone?) and believe it or not Crucial in achieving the flatter belly that we all want! Kegels are beneficial for both Men and Women in efforts to prevent Incontinence later in life.

Isn't that the best way to look at exercise? Translate it into, what will also work in the bedroom, or is that just me?

Oprah said that in order for you to find your passion, you have to listen to that inner voice that keeps calling you, that's the secret to a happy life. Well my inner voice keeps saying Keep it Tight, Look Great, Feel even Better and last but not least the biggie Great Sex and lots of it :-) I know I'm a work in progress a little “tardy for the party”, but I'm ready to put in the work.

I'm not ashamed to say those things are important to me, my passion. Yes, along with God first, Family, No War, and all that!! You get what I'm saying.

A nice body is worshiped and adored like a work of art!

Tonight I will dine on Tilapia," No Potato" Potato salad, (sub potato with cauliflower its yummy!!) and French cut Green Beans. Instead of Fudge cake I'll snack on 1/4 cup of Semi- Sweet chocolate chips (MUFA-good fats).

So here's to Good Health, a Tight Body, and Good.. ---! ☺

Muah
www.NicoleSpence.me

Cuma Cuma Cuma Karma Sutra! January 25th

2010-01-25T14:40:00.001-08:00

Don't you just love today's title, every last one of you guys better be singing Boy George right now, or I will really have to question if we have anything in common! Lol.

So what do people do when they aren't getting nearly the amount of sex that want, at the level in which they want it? They think about it all the time, visit it through virtual means (via spankwire.com and a new favorite slutload.com), like yours truly! I can't help it if I'm passionate about it! And after reading that the clitoris has between 6,000-8,000 sensory nerve endings which is more than any other structure in the human body, with only one purpose "Pleasure"! So now I know I'm not crazy! I'm not happy; if my "Yoni" isn't being stimulated that's where the happiness is located, now deal with it!

The other night while I was naughty Internet searching I decided to read more about Karma Sutra, which is defined as the art of love making. This art started in India, which also speaks volumes, you know I got Indian in my family! Lol. Maybe that's why I have an inner Kink to me! Lol. Anyway, Karma Sutra is like a world of sexual positions! It was created with the main purpose stressing the importance of healthy and fulfilled sex life (Amen!)

Through my search I hit the mother load! I found www.MyKarmaSutrabuddy.com!

I just love this site, because it allows you to see the sexual positions acted out for you by 6 different body types from the In Shape chick, to the Thicky Thick girl, not to mention the Chubby man to the dude with the nice pecks and abs. They even have midget loving! You want it, you pick it, select the position and watch them play! "Wheelbarrow, Bumper Cars, Frog Leap, they do it all!!"

Since a little greed lives in all of us, even me, I didn't just stop there I also found FHM's 28Days of Karma Sutra on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WsewNGduREY.
28 naughty positions acted out by 2 G string wearing divas! These girls are giving you some Reverse Cow Girl, Stand and Deliver, The Crab, plus much more!

In sad and related news I would like to say that I've tried all these positions demonstrated on these sites, but alas my sex life ain't shit! So I haven't gotten to some of these yet. Trust and believe when I do I'll share, as I'm hoping to bring the house down! Owwwwww. While you voyage through the sites you might notice that some of these positions are new to you and some you'll just be like:

"Oh that's what it’s called"!

Either way its hella fun to watch and uhm a creative way to step the game up if need be!

Remember All those nerve endings means, the clitoris is super sensitive, and it’s actually at least 4x's more sensitive than the head of a man's Penis!

So take my advice if your lady has been fussing ask yourself:

" Have ya'll really been f@cking??" Lmao!

So forget about the plain ol Doggy and try a little Reverse Froggy ;) Loves it!!

www.NicoleSpence.me

PYP: Play Your Position! January 19th!

2010-01-19T08:40:00.000-08:00

I felt the need to write about this, since a couple of men in my life have fallen out of my life based, on this topic. “Playing your position” is Key ladies and gents.

But the other day when one of my oldest buds tried to put me on Ice, for not being open to giving up the draws." I want some Buns Nic, have my baby!"

I realized this is an emergency, this article must be written. "Yes I'm so dramatic!" So after about 2weeks of us barely talking, and absolutely no text messages. I'd had about enough; I wanted my buddy back, so he needed to cut the shit!

I called this brother up and I said" Play your Position!" Stop worrying about the job you want "fucking", instead do the job your given "friendship" to best of your ability. And maybe then we can talk promotion!

* The target should never know that they are target either ;)

The same shit happened with that guy that kissed me waaay too early, and now 9 times out 10 we won't be kissing again. He totally ignored the fact that I was only interested in friendship right now, and upon reviewing that maybe benefits will kick in!
But nooooo, all he heard was" She's a challenge I like that, I’m a conquer this ballsy chic!"

Not playing attention caused him to act too soon, miss the mark, and now has turned me off! Not to mention the repeated texts following the date asking for more Kisses!! And again, ignoring my responses of " eh stop", and attempts to change the topic, nope he was still going hard like Chinese arithmetic (old school holla).

I know naturally if someone tells you "No" you instinctively want to turn that No into a Yes! I get it, and I've even done it! Shooot I remember this one guy like 2years ago, I had my nose soooo open I was loving that good ol lovin', and great friendship! I mean we spent everyday together Christmas, Thanksgiving, Birthdays, all that! And when I was tangled up in that drama at work, my friend held me down all day long, like it was he going through it! Wait! Back to the lovin', man I can't even look at a work out bench without blushing! Lawd! That experienced showed me how much good sex, can get you in shape! Whew!

But yea, I couldn't focus and enjoy the friendship completely because I was obsessed with why he wasn't offering a relationship. Since we were friends I should have understood why, since I knew what he had been through in past. But nope I made it into an Ego thing! I made it about me when it wasn't. He never said I wasn't good enough, and he actually showed me I was; by giving me the love and support I needed.

Basically what I had to realize is that we are in a Relationship, we're Friends. What he was giving me was better and saving me from was all the fuckery that comes from saying you're committed, when truth is he might need to be “committed!”

So I say relax and enjoy what you have stop being soo damn greedy!

www.NicoleSpence.me

He thought it was a good Kiss?!

2010-01-10T15:59:00.001-08:00

Hiii
Happy New Year! (All late yes I know) But sometimes-real life is slow :/

I am soo a believer in a kiss can make it or break it, I've actually been running that line since the 7th grade you can ask my bestie Aisha! But in order for the kiss to seal it, don't people normally give off kissing signs? And it’s not me applying my lip-gloss buddy! Geez!

Case and point the other night someone forced a kiss moment when there was none. We had just finished spending a couple of hours hanging out at this sports bar downtown and we were proceeding to his car. I guess I said something witty or funny so he thought "good moment", because as my hand approached the car door to open it, he called me to come to where he was standing in front of the car. I thought maybe he was about to smoke a cig and didn't want me to just plop my ass in the car just yet. So I walked over and said, “what's up”? That's when he goes in for the kiss!! Immediately my mouth tensed up, all these thoughts are running through my mind like " “how did we get here? Really, you want to kiss me after eating a burger with onions”? So I tell myself over and over" Nicole relax maybe this won't be soo bad if you relax your jaw and your mouth stop contracting all muscles! Mouth looking like a prolapsed bottom!" Lol

It wasn't working so I pull out early, and I say nothing while walking back to the car. I just love to kiss so much, for me it can make me feel like making love you know, make me that hot! Is that just me?? But anyway when I got in the car he said," that was great!" He loved it! I just smiled. "Awkard"!

I mean I think all of you can tell by now, that I'm not afraid to make a move when I'm ready and want too. I just think eh the kiss happened too soon. Although we had a pretty chill time, and we will probably hang out again that doesn't mean we need to be all kissy kissy just yet. Its different strokes for different folks, some folks will get stroked quick and others have to wait. Lol.

He did say some interesting stuff, like he randomly checks a woman's bathroom and if he doesn't see Summer's Eve he isn't licking it! Lol. Yup that's his deal breaker!! Have you ever heard that??!!! Only me! Oh and he thinks girls who notoriously double text are sexy and cute. Apparently that tells him that she's secure enough in herself that she doesn't care what he thinks she wants her response Now! "Interesting"

Wow! Who knew??!!! I tell you, men love us when we act crazy!! Lol!

So in efforts to avoid another oral catastrophe I decided to jot down some signs I think are pretty universal that a woman wants to be kissed, although I think most women i.e. "Me" just make it happen all on my own.

• She might lick and bite her lips constantly! That’s goodie although again for me I’m a bit of an LL Cool J chick always licking my lips so this might be the bamboozle with me! Lol
• Heavy touching, caressing you’re hand a subtle back rub..
• A bit too “touchy feely means touch me “

Ahhh you get the picture, in the words of my big homie “ Know your Personnel”

www.NicoleSpence.me

Tis the Season to Deck the Balls! December 21st!

2009-12-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Happy Holidays Everybody!!
Tis the season for giving right? How about giving a gift that can’t be duplicated and that your man will find irresistible, and the one thing he can never get tired of receiving! “HEAD” Let’s step the head game up a couple of notches! Lets face it that’s what he really wants, and everything else costs! Lmao . Head is free!!

I’m no Pro at the head game, {just enjoy it} so I had to do some research. I found some interesting tips that I thought might be easy to incorporate into the sex play without feeling like “WTF Am I doing??”

So on Saturday night while the New York City streets were covered in a blanket of snow, and most New Yorkers were under someone, on top of someone, or my favorite behind someone, I was home alone with a good ol book! Well not just any book, I was reading “Pleasure - A woman’s Guide to Getting the Sex You Want, Need, and Deserve.” written by a good friend of mine Hilda Hutcherson, M.D. I just love Dr. Hilda I’ve had the pleasure of working with her for several years when I was a talent producer in radio, so I knew she knew how to guide me on rocking the mic right!

According to Dr. Hilda great oral sex starts with the ears! Yup! Apparently kissing and sucking on the areas as far away from the penis will of course increase his intensity and anticipation of you putting him in your mouth! Slowly work your way down to his penis, teasing him! I thought that was pretty cool, because sometimes you just rush down there you know, but nope nope slow and steady is key! Lol.

Here are some basics:
- As you slide your mouth up and down his penis, twist your head in corkscrew fashion.
- Take his penis in your hands. Playfully slap or rub it along the side of your face, lips and nose as he watches.
- While sliding his penis in and out of your mouth, pull down the skin of the penis and hold it taut. Stretching the skin will increase the sensations he feels while you lick, suck and swallow his penis.
- While moving your mouth up and down his shaft, circle the head with your tongue.
- Slide as much of his penis in your mouth as you can, now curl your tongue up and toward the back of your throat repeatedly in a lapping motion.
- Gently blow on the moistened areas.
- Use the tip of your tongue to flick the opening of the urethra, the tiny opening at the top of the head.
- Using your flat soft tongue begin at the seam down the middle of the scrotum, and lick up to the base of the penis, then across, circling around one testicle and back to the Seam. Then lick up over and around the other testicle and back to the seam forming a figure 8!
- Place one hand at the base of his penis and your mouth above your hand. Let your mouth work in concert, as your mouth moves up your hand follows. When you reach the head, your mouth slides off, while your hand goes up and over the top of the head and back down. Your mouth follows. Repeat.

Don’t forget to show him how much you are enjoying this, while he is in your mouth moan deeply ”Mmmmmmm” they can actually feel your moan and it’s a nice sensation for them. Lets face it a big reason why men love Head so much, is because its like you are worshipping his penis, showing him how much you love the way it looks and tastes! “Don’t be quiet about it suck that Mofo” in the eloquent words of my Sagittarius homie, who weighed in on this topic! Suction can create a nice sensation, while sliding your mouth up and down his joint.

It has always been my understanding that the more spit the better! “Make it sloppy for Daddy”! You know because you want to give the illusion that they are inside you. But what I didn’t know is that people sometime use Lube while giving head! “Who Knew”? Well I took a trip down to Soho to the Toys of Babeland shop, and that’s what the sex educator Darlinda told me!!

Try using a Silicone Lube, a little goes along way, but it has no taste so go crazy if you want. Lol.
Also Babeland sells this finger vibrator, that you place on your finger and rest it on the outside of your cheek, once you put him inside your mouth, angle it toward your cheek so he can feel the vibrations!

Man I tried it with my finger in my mouth, and I gotta tell you I think that would be some shit right there, It felt soo good! And do you know what else I‘ve been sleeping on?? The Blindfold, action! Studies show that your sense of touch is only heightened when loosely blindfolded! (This is especially good if you don’t like him watching!) Talking about slippin’ on my pimpin’! Well no more, I picked up a blindfold at Bableland!

Ahhhh so that’s just a little something of what you can try with your Fella.

Cheers! Happy Holidays, and if you’re bringing in Christmas and of course New Years with some bubbly Champagne, as you fill your mouth up, don’t just drink in vain, remember that these bubbles can also provide a nice sizzling sensation for his member ☺

FA LA LA FELLATIO!!!!

He's afraid of the Big Bad Butt!! December 8th

2009-12-08T13:36:00.000-08:00

Hey People!
Sorry I've been gone finals have been kicking my ass! But, Wednesday is the last day of school so I'll be all yours again!

Any who of course I got an interesting story, a tale of some bullshit!

You know when I was a little girl my Uncle Mark always used to tease me about my big butt! He would always let me know, that when I grew up my boyfriend would love me for it though! Considering I was a little girl, and insecure about this big ol' Rice n Peas butt, I didn't know what he was talking about. I thought I was fat!

Fast forward I grew up and my butt grew in size as well, and my Uncle Marky never lied! The Boys loved me for it. Well at least the ones that could handle the butt did! Lol.

With that said one of my bootylicous girlfriends went out with this rapper, with only one record under his belt the other night and check what he had to say!

You know I gotta leave names out so let's call her Jenny! Well I love Jenny's shape, she's a thick girl, but not too thick, and a very pretty face!

Here she was out to dinner with this lame eating and talking, and he tells her "you know Jenny you're the first thick girl that I've ever dated"! Really? "Why" she asked! He goes on to tell her that he "normally likes to date smaller girls, because his joint looks bigger while hitting it from the back!!!" WTF?? Apparently he feels that with Thick girls, it creates a bit of an optical illusion, where his dick just magically looks smaller in comparison to a big ol' booty!!

Now isn't that some bullshit! Clearly your joint is just small! I thought a big booty just personified "Smash"! And you know his butt is all chubby and out of shape, but he wants to put emphasis on my girl's body! I think not, you Loser! Accept your small tool and deal with it, don't try to make her feel insecure at the party!

Man I remember when I was younger, just new to sex, I had no idea about positions and so forth, just knew about the "IN, Out, IN!" But you know you're still curious, so you talk about it with your girl and guy friends! I remember it like it was yesterday, when my friend at the time Tiba, asked me if I was receiving "back shots"! When I told him No, he questioned why! I had no answer for him, but he could tell by the look on my face that I was wondering too. So he said to me, please don't think its because you're butt is too big! Tiba knew I was insecure about my womanly body back then! "That dude ain't hitting it from the back, because he can't reach Nic, not because of you!" That shit never left my head, Yea! Its not me, it's him! "He can't work the middle, cuz his thing's too little!" Lmao!

Ahhh but I say all this to say, sometimes these dudes have a way of putting their insecurities on you to carry! Fuck that, let them carry their own shit! Love your body, and Rep every chance you get! Confidence is the sexiest thing you can wear in the bedroom, and now a days I never leave home without it! Church!

Fellas are you "Repping" every time you put IT down?

2009-11-17T19:43:00.000-08:00

Or is your wicked M.O." Not everyone gets the good Di@k??"

Aaaaahhh good D makes me feel so appreciated like you cared enough to give the very best! Lol.

Since the weekend did start out kinda rainy, you already know where my mind was! You guessed it! In the gutter!! Lol.

But alas Mr. Randy and I fell off like 3months ago, and I’m no longer interested in that guy from "Are you confusing Sex with Intimacy" simply because he's a "We-r"! You know the guy that talks a lot of "We" shit, when they are really on some "Me" shit! He actually got flaky once again, like immediately after we hung out! I'm talking one-word responses via text and over all dry ass attitude! So it was the final curtain call this time. Womp womp! I would have clued you guys in then, but I was bored with that topic.

So anyway back to the rainy weekend. Well Mr. Randy knows who he's dealing with, because he knew what call to place and what to say to get my butt right over to his place! "Yay! He read my mind!" Man it’s just something about that Rain booooyyyyy!! It does things to me! I think its all the wetness that's outside that keeps me thinking dirty! A rainy night is definitely not for my platonic friends! Shooooot!

Ahhh Mr. Randy he's not perfect no, but so my flava!" Spicy" Boy o boy does he Rep his city each and every time! He wouldn't dare give this girl any lazy D to deal with! Oh no not him!

But you know good di@k also makes you reflect on those who were soo lack luster! Reminds me of this guy who I used to see and he would always tell me " you should be more appreciative of this good di@k I'm giving you!" You know me I'm nonchalant, but I wasn't sure what type of appreciation he was looking for. For me the di@k was cool, but what's your point. He tells me how he can't f@ck every girl the way he fu*ks me, because if everyone got it this way he would have to deal with chicks falling in love with him!
" Are you for real?? Is that what you tell yourself to make up for your wack ass flow??" He follows with" I don't give them wack D just enough to keep em cool, but I won't go all out!"

Wow! See man that's where I see things differently! Maybe because I'm a choosy lover, but I plan to Rep each and every time we get down! If I choose to get on the mic, I want you to remember it! You think you love me cause of it? Then so be it, that's the casualty of this Sex Warring! Maybe my ego is too big, but one dissatisfied customer can cause the news to spread like wild fire!

But I bet he's not alone! And I'm sure some of you men do that same shit! "Oh I ain't gonna put it on her like that, ima just get mine!” Crap! All you one-nutter brothers stand up! If you didn't already know, you're ass is Lame! And you better start caring about the di@k you give to all your customers! There is nothing worse, than having sex but your body is left feeling like you didn't! Still hungry for some real di@k, not this no frills shit!

So uhm yes I did go backwards and got a little naughty with Mr. Randy on Friday night, and it was well worth it, thank you very much. We had seconds thirds and fourths! Shit and Saturday after Pacquiao bust Cotto’s ass, there was another late night rumble in the Bronx! Lol.

However I do think I will be breaking my rule of having him come to my house! His place is just always Cracking! Remember when his baby momma was at the door! I mean in mid-stroke the doorbell is ringing all types of crazy, and it’s his cousin ready to kick it! Talking bout a pain in the ass! (Giggles)

So yea that was my weekend, and for sure next time it’s going down at my place.

But holla at me people especially you fellas, what kind of Di@k are you currently slinging? If you're saving that Special pounding for wifey, I suggest you keep that shit to yourself and her, no need in spreading the wackness around!
Thanks!

Muah to all of my champion lovers out there, Mi love you long time!

Nicolespence.me

Does your Partner suck at dirty talk? November 13th!

2009-11-13T12:22:00.000-08:00

Call me an old fashioned girl, but in intimate settings behind closed
doors, I like the word P*@sy! It's sexy! In the heat of passion I love
for that word to be used. However, I'm not opposed to another
word, provided that it flows and doesn't weird me the f@*k out! Lol.
I can't stand a bad shit talker, lawd!

Lmao! My homegirl's boo calls it "the Panty Pie" WTF?? Huh? Uhm, what
excuse me? Why the Panty Pie? Where the hell did you get that? He
claims it's because "it's warm like pie!!" Damn dude, I guess. That just
sounds crazy to me. Lol.

Got me thinking, I remember when a former flame used to always refer to
it as "her" and "she" and talk to "her" in a baby voice! Like dude how
is it sexy to hear a grown ass man (who is supposed to be on the verge of
"taking it down") going to talk like a baby! It would Always take me out of my zone!

Oh, and I guess I'm supposed too breast feed you to right??!!

Is it me but I'm thinking this moment should call for the authoritative
voice! The Roar of the Tiger!
Save the soft spoken voice for the ladies.

Ahhh the weird shit people say in bed.

I could be a bit of a hypocrite because I've never asked a guy what he
would prefer to hear! I'm assuming D**k is universal, right? I mean what
else am I going to call it? C**k isn't my sort of thing, do people still
say that outside of porn?

Well my approach is to not over think these things, just say whatever
pops out! Lol. You know K.I.S.S. (Keep it Simple Stupid)

But fellas what are you calling your Peter these days? And Ladies what
would you like him to call your Cookie? Tell me!!

NicoleSpence.me

You know He's going to call Girl!!

2009-11-05T13:29:00.001-08:00

So what to do in the mean time?

When I was younger I dated the same" knuckle head I think I run this town" boy from junior high all the way till the end of high school and some of college. Nadir is his name (his real name too shoot!). Well Nadir was my first and he also the only guy that had me on some stupid shit! Lol. I can laugh at it now, because those days are long behind me. But boy was I caught up! Man no matter what that boy did, I was going to love him anyway! He was my first after all, July 6th 1996 the summer before my high school graduation to be exact! Lol. Aisha's parents weren't home and I lost my virginity in her bed, talking about being best friends! Lmao Ahhh Kids! Lol

Anyway every time we would break up which was all the time, because I wasn't giving it up early enough for him so he had to make his rounds around town! Back in the day I thought the "fingers" were the real deal, so no need to leave that lane! Lol As soon as we would break up I would call Aisha or Hope, inform them of the latest Nadir games. (btw to this day whenever a dude pulls some crap, all the girls and I call it " He's on some Nadir shit"!) OF course we talked about it over Chicken wings, French fries, and Cookie dough ice cream. But afterwards it was clear to me what was next! It was time for" Debut Day!"

Debut day is what I made up for the day that he sees me, smiling and looking fine! I swear I drove my girls crazy with this shit, but it always worked and I was never worried about " is it really over?" Nope it was only over until "Debut day" arrives!

See back then I never worried about if he was going to call or if I would ever see him again, although we went to different schools. I was patient not stalking is phone or pager. I was Confident and strategic ;) So Debut Day was very important! I would drop the pesky" I'm comfortable with my Boo" pounds, cut and color my hair (I used to go Red back then!), get some new Guess jeans! I mean whatever! Because on Debut Day, ima look like my life hasn't skipped one beat, I've actually gotten better! And you know what it always worked! He would see me at the mall or the movie theater; opening night at the movies was a big ass deal in a small town like Spring Valley. Everyone is out!
So I need the " have you Seen Nicole?" to be in full effect.

By the ended of the night, if I wanted to, we would be back on!

Never mind the fact that I shouldn't have wanted his butt back in the first place, that's another lesson for another time! Lol

Alas it seems as I've gotten older I've forgotten all about "Debut Day" instead when my man friend and I mash up, I'm eating! Lol. I'm eating and bitching and wondering" Is he going to call? And "No I don't want to go anywhere, so stop asking me!" Lol I mean sure I spazzed out and told him to kick rocks, but he should still call! My guess is, as we get older we tend to put too much into other people, especially men. Now Its time to redirect that energy!

So I'm bringing back Debut Day! Let's face it, they always call, but men are just better at laying low and being still during these down times. So they'll call when you least expect it! Oooo and he better not catch you on a Fat day, with your hair needing a touch up, Mani Pedi busted, and in desperate need of a wax! You know just an overall mess!

So this is for me and all my girls double checking to see if their phone is working " why aint this Mofo calling me then?" Don't worry about that phone! Like my mommy always said: " Watch pot don't cook, leave it alone!" Instead let's focus on Debut day YAY! Let's squat it out (you know a big butt is better than pretty face these days!), do some Pilates with Nicole, try a new hair style, get some Yoga in your life and sweat out all that poisonous doubt! And please don’t forget about your Kegel exercises before you go to bed at night, so the next time he enters your sweet spot, you can give his manhood a nice squeeze, choke him ;)

Most men love, a little crazy in a girl, so don't trip. Lol (stop saying he isn’t going to call! Lol) or depending on your circle you might even run into him. So that day needs to be right! Men are very visual creatures let's keep their eyes engaged! ;) Make him lock his eyes on all his missing...maybe then he'll start listening! Lol lol

Shooot if he doesn’t come back, I sure as hell bet your stocks have gone up with all this Fabulousness you're rocking! So its a Win, Win!! :-) YAY!!!

NicoleSpence.me

Can you pick up some "Gold Ones" for me?

2009-10-27T09:02:00.000-07:00

So last Tuesday afternoon I caught up with my girl Oprah! The show covered an interesting topic , that led to a great audience discussion, that
brought back a funny memory for me.

The show was about these five older women that contracted the HIV virus
from the same guy, who was slinging his dirty penis around town. Such a
sad story. Once they were made aware that they contracted the virus they
pooled together and were able to bring him up on charges. And he was
found Guilty! He is now serving a very hefty bid of 45years in prison,
and a lifetime with the virus. The show got even more interesting as the women on the panel as well as the audience were venting about, the necessity of women carrying condoms with them, but sometimes get caught up in “the man will take care of that.”

Seeing that reminded me about this time I was dating this guy. He lived in NYC, but in the middle of us kicking it, life and his career took him to LA! I wasn't sad, just very proud of him. So on one of his trips back to NYC, he of course reached out for his NY slice, me! Lol.

So he tells me to come by the Time Hotel where he was staying, and
could I "bring some Gold ones" with me? Huh?? You want me to buy the
condoms?? What?? See back then, that was the first time I ever had to
make such a purchase! I was a little nervous, but up for the challenge.
But I sure as hell wasn't going to buy it from My neighborhood Rite Aid!
I thought "Now they're gonna know I'm having sex, hell no!" Lol.

So I decided to make my purchase at the Rite Aid right next to the Time
Hotel, where I wouldn't know the cashier. Lol. So there I am at the
pharmacy section, I remember it like it was yesterday.."Shit! There are
so many condoms to choose from." But he did say he wanted the Gold ones. I knew that meant Magnums, but still there are different types. So I
just grabbed a regular 10pack box(wishful thinking) of Magnums, and made my way through the what seemed to be prying eyes and the longest freaken line ever. With this big ol’ box in my hand! “Whew all set!”

Time for the "Hokie- Pokie" ;)

The sessions were pretty cool. We used about four condoms. Like I said,
just pretty good ;) So on the way out, I said: "Oh, uhm give me back my
condoms!" "Wtf??" He said! So I respond with: "Uhm we only used four,
where are the other six? Gimme!" He got soo upset, talking 'bout "Nicole
what're you going to do, use them??" "Uhm yea, why wouldn't I?" "Use
them for what?" "Excuse me, did they all of a sudden become water
balloons?" lol He goes on to say, “more than likely he will have sex again at some point. But I Shouldn’t.” Okay, so I should be cool after that session? And not have sex!? Is he crazy?? With my hands still out waiting for my condoms, and my eyes rolled, he asked me If I didn't want him to protect himself out there, don't I care? I responded with, "Yes I care, I want you to protect yourself, but am I supposed to supply you with condoms for the next chick? Don't you want me to protect myself??" He said "No, I want you to not have sex!" Oh please give me a break, go buy your own, these things cost me $14.99 “I want my condoms!”

What's with these men, thinking Sex is not as important to women, as it
is to men! Are we supposed to just sit back, and be placed on the
"Injured Reserve" list and wait for the coach to let us get back in the
game? Uhm No, there is nothing wrong with me, so I'll op to trade
to another team. Where I can get some PT in!

Ugh he was sooo threw with me, lol, oh well! I got my gold ones!!
Ever since then, I always have gold and sometimes red ones in my Jimmy
Choo bag ;) And after watching Oprah, I'm even more adamant about women carrying condoms with them at all times, and not relying on these dudes to bring the candy to the party.

Ok so with that said does anyone out there still get a little “shy” when it comes time to pick up some “Gold ones “?

And which brand gives you that feeling of ecstasy like there's nothing there?

Share with me!

NicoleSpence.me

Neyo's 30th Birthday party!! YAY!!

2009-10-19T14:49:00.000-07:00

Ok so, I took my butt out to Neyo's 30th birthday Saturday night,at
Cipriani!! And booooyyyy did I have a good time!!

So let's just dive right in!! First off, I was looking fresh! You know
when you're just having one of those nights when you're feeling real
good, and looking even better in Cute and comfortable shoes too! Shit,
watch out! And for the first time ever I wore bright red lipstick! Let's
just talk about that for a second! Since I had on black latex leggings
and some booties, I thought it would be cute and different from my
normal "muted lip", to throw on some red lipstick!! Although I had to
keep re applying every now and then, because let's face it was open bar
and I'm drinking and the red didn't need to fade. The compliments about
my red lips that night were crazy!!! Crazy! My lips were getting crazy
hot attention both in person and via naughty discreet texts. So ladies
if you were like me and scared to go red, don't be! Do it!! Its like
these men turn into Bulls when the see Red!! "Torrroooo"!!!!

Back to the party! Great party! Again open bar, great food, mini
burgers, french fries, wings (but who the hell would dare to eat
chicken! Lol) and, mac n cheese! So of course I felt the need to eat
since, the food could soak up the open bar nourishment that I was about
to go in on!

Cipriani was decked out soo nicely like David Tutera did it or
something. Dim lights, winter palace type of feel. Of course to add to
the party's flare, the room was equipped body painted naked girls!!
Loved it!! Especially the girls who were in the black sparkle paint!!

So I'm standing around talking to the folks that I know there, having a
good ol' time. When my friend Jack rolls up behind me. Of course his
"non working in the industry butt, but always know about some damn
industry party" was up in the building! Lol.

We chit chat some and then he references the naked girls. "You see these
girls Nicole?" "Yea." "Damn these chicks got the cellulite." "Wtf??
Excuse me jack?" "Yea don't you see it??" "Oh really? I guess you must have
left your six pack at home huh??" He barks back with "I don't need no
six pack, my d@ck touches the floor! No lie!" "Oh please! I don't care
what your joint does, you can still stand to crunch it out!" Mannnn, you
see how these dudes are?? They want to push their own insecurity on you! Oh
so we gotta look perfect while you hand us any ol shit! "Jack this why
you're a good friend, but will always remain in the friend zone." Lol
lol

I don't know if any of you out there have seen me at a party but I'm
always having a good time despite what is going on. Everyone could be
standing around. I have my drink and I'm dancing (off beat valley
girl-ish) laughing and singing all types of crazy. Some people might
even be watching like "what party is she at??" But I don't care! Lol

Sooo I was partying hard, so hard that one of those naked girls even
picked me up!!!! Bare breast, G-string, and all. Good times!

When Neyo arrives we hug and try to briefly catch up. He's so dope, and
he actually wants to do Pilates with me!! (Yes, I teach you know ;) )

But before the night closed in true Nicole fashion, as Neyo is about to
leave, I don't know how it happened, but we started dancing all close. I
was feeling that patron again! And then Neyo does it, bites my bottom
lip! It was soo crazy!! Lol. Then we hug and say good night :)

My girlfriend was like "Ok so you just had Neyo's baby"! Lol.

What a dope down to earth guy, and he's always been that way. Can't wait
to see that movie that he shot in Prague about the Tuskegee Airmen,
comes out next summer.

Thank you so much Carter for taking care of me all night, and making
sure I didn't have to wait in any line (which was hella long!!), and
also letting Neyo know that I teach pilates ahead of time. Neyo really
is, and rolls with great people.

Whew what a night!!! Oh and I saw/ ran into Wendy Williams and her
husband Kevin Hunter. First time seeing them since... "What a
day, What a day!!" (In my Erykah Badu voice)

The whole night all I kept thinking was "where are the video cameras
when you need em", this was a great night!!!

Happy Birthday Neyo!! Yay!!!!

Snap did I forget to mention I even got a threesome offer, from this
cute girl. Gotta be the Red lips I'm telling you!!! ;)

NicoleSpence.me

Is Good Sex written in the Stars? October 13th

2009-10-12T20:30:00.000-07:00

Good News! I’m not the only one that tends to attribute good sex, or freaky sex to certain zodiac signs some of my friends do too. What about you?

I’m a Gemini and I don’t know what it is but when I hear “I’m a Taurus, or I’m a Cancer, I get all excited. “Oooo baby I bet you hunger for it like no other!” Lol

My Taurus happened years ago and he still gets brought up to this day. The first thing my girls tend to ask when I have a new “encounter” is, “Is he a James?” lol. Although I was young, James and I had heat! Lol. Those Taurus men are always quick to argue and stand by their decision. They're stubborn as hell, and they take all that “fight” into the bedroom, and I loves it.

Next we have the Cancer man. I don’t know but these men are the most emotional creatures that I have ever dealt with. Ever! They are first ones to tell you they don’t care, you’re not affecting them, but that’s what they say! They're not "Sayers, they're Do-ers!" My Cancer would always down play his feelings, but in the bedroom, Damn It he showed up and Rep-ed! Just very intense and all about pleasing you, they take Sex very seriously, they’re very passionate. We worked up a Sweat!

That’s just me though. I was talking to some of my girlfriends, about which signs they thought laid it down. My girlfriend Jihan who is an Aries thought the Taurus man was by far the best. High five Jihanny! Renee however says she knows what kind of night awaits her in the bedroom with a Leo man. According to her they have all the skills and finesse, it kinda sounds cliché but I guess you can all that the “Roar of the Lion? “ Yikes!

My homeboy who is a cutie Sagittarius says he can always get some good loving from his fellow Sag, Libra, Leos or Gemini’s ☺

I used to hear Scorpio’s are the nastiest but now I’m hearing that, that’s all hype! I’ve never been with one at all, or even dated one, so I guess Scorpio men don’t really pull me in. Hmmm they must not be that nasty. Lol But maybe one day! ;)

What’s so crazy is that Four of my girlfriends all agreed that Capricorns are the most boring of the zodiac, with the lowest most mechanical “In Out In” Sex that they’ve ever experienced! Apparently Capricorn men ration the Goods to the point where you don’t even want it anymore, coupled with this false confidence like they're running things with this behavior! “Saving it makes it better Babe!" Bullshit. Lol Four is a pretty big number in my circle, so this can’t all be superstitious crap! Lol.

Something is definitely to this Sex and the Stars! Right? What do you think?

Check out what I read on this really cool site that I found pretty accurate regarding my sexual preference as a Gemini:

Sexual Preferences of Gemini woman
This woman is quite unpredictable when it comes to sex. The place is not as important for her as mental stimulation. Gemini woman is open to new things with no prejudices about sex . But her strongest turn-on lies in her brain. Phone sex, adult DVD and sex books are among her favorite though, because she can't imagine her life without mental stimulation. Gemini woman is innately gifted with the art of teasing, that's why a soft feather in her hands turns into a spicy sensual play with the wide range of sensations. She likes to invent new ways and intricate manipulations of pleasing her partner. She may introduce balls into vagina and as her partner penetrate her from behind or combine it with manual stimulation of the genitals.

Yeaaahh Booy Go ahead and check out this website is your Zodiac Sexual Preference correct? Is this stuff on the money, Honey?

www.sex-astrology.com

www.NicoleSpence.Me

Are You Confusing Sex with Intimacy? October 7th!

2009-10-06T14:58:00.001-07:00

Yes I Am! So I'm going to stand up and testify, well write, but testifying all the same ;) It's been so long since I've tried to build anything with someone, I wonder if I know how. Maybe I've been "just fucking" by choice for so long I forgot the ingredients that go into making "it last forever". Its not that I take sex lightly I don't! I just haven't used that part of my brain in a long time, so "building" is a bit foreign to me. But for sex to happen I have to be Really attracted and into him for us to even take it there, plus everything turns me off! That's why I tend to go long periods with no sexual partner. I'm the girl who thinks about Sex all the time but rarely gets it:/

"Choosey Lover"!

The last time I tried to "build" something, was years ago. I haven't even shared my bed with a dude since my Ex moved out like 4years ago. "Let's go to your place" is the song I sing!

However, if I am into you.. Then I don't second-guess that urge I go with it. But its like I rely on the sex to show him how I feel. Sometimes the words just escape me so " I let my body talk"! My feelings are, how can you doubt my interest when I give it you, the way I do?

Case in point! Friday night I had an impromptu meet up with an old Friend/Flame! He's just someone that is just so special to me. We started out as friends and then we gradually (slow as a snail is more accurate) became more. Somewhere down the line things got blurred he got flaky and confusing, so I ended it.

Of course we didn't end drama less, in true Nicole fashion I spazzed out on him, told him where the f@ck to go, how the hell to get there and which highway to take! I had to go hard, because well to be honest with all of his confusion he still got close to me, only to find out he was suffering from the "Hurry Up and be mine Nicole, No wait hold up I'm crazy, pump your breaks, hold my space!" And you guys already know " There are no reservations here @ Casa de Nicole, it's a first come first serve establishment!"

So Friday I'm up to my usual tricks, food and drinks with one of my "Golden Girls" Aisha. We started out in Chelsea@Rub BBQ for some barbecue with Grey Goose,Soda and a twist of lime. (9O cals with zero carbs ;) Then we made our way to a swanky wine bar called Nectar in Harlem. Since I was in his backyard, and on that Goose, I let him know I would be there.

Poof! Here he comes to join us for drinks. Immediately we catch up, like it hasn't been 9 months of down time. Well face-to-face time, since he has been reaching out, but he was getting the eye roll each time he did. We share stories, emotions and secrets. He opens up about his love for me, and that he sees me as his best friend, that he wants to one day marry. Awwww the whole night was so warm and touching, if this was a movie Alicia Keys "Diary" would be our soundtrack! Yup he moved Nicole.

We go from Wine to Patron Shots as we made our way to the next spot without Aisha, called 17below also in Harlem. The night just got better as the time passed. So of course I want the "real" party to continue upstairs @his place.

A couple times during our conversation my mind wandered and I thought about the first time we did it, I was on top and he said: Nicole clothes don't do you justice, look at you, you're beautiful!!" What? Omg!! Get me Bodied!!" Lol (I AM Sasha Fierce! lol ) Yup I want that Old Thang back, its a quarter to 11!

Unfortunately he had already made plans to meet up with his friends, since this was an impromptu type of deal.."What -F-in-ever!" lol

He begins to tell me how tonight isn't a good night, because all we could have is a quickie! " Ok, So what?" He tells me that after the night we had and the things we shared we shouldn't just go upstairs and f@ck, since there won't be any spooning and no "Good morning, what do you want for breakfast?" (Luv his pancakes) " Shit"! "Damn you"! "I'm pissed!" You talk in your sleep anyway!LOL! It has been a while for me and you, why can't we? And its You damn it! "What's Peanut Butter without the Jelly"?

What is this Fool talking about?

This Big Baby needs her bottle to go to sleep. Bring me upstairs and knock it down then go to your party. No love loss, its love gained!

So long street bickering made short, in a horny drunken rage I walk off and head home. (Aww poor baby) I make it like 2 blocks before I realize he's walking right next to me on the street. My mouth was open, I was so shocked! That's so not a move he would normally make, but me walking away is. So he walks up to me smiles and tells me to " shut up, let's go upstairs!" Aww I love you!

The End!

Ok so sure I got my way in the end, but was his proposed ending better? What do you think?

Sure he said I treat him like a piece of meat, but to that I say: "You're my piece of meat, I can be your loyal customer. You know much I love Steak! "

PSA- to you Mister man (Yes You Cone Head!)" IF and only IF you've come back into my life to only Confuse me, not here to Love Me the way You Say You Do, remember I see Confusion as the Devil, so I will rebuke you Satan be gone!"

Muah!

NicoleSpence.me

Is Porn your Side B@tch?! October 5th

2009-10-05T19:17:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to wonder if my porn watching is too much. Let's face it my ass is as single as a dollar bill, so one moment my sex life is booming and I have a steady piece knocking it down. And then the next minute I'm having an extremely dry season, since I'm also quick to cut a brother off! But be clear despite what sexual climate I'm having, porn has been my constant!

When I was younger porn was dirty. I had no interest in it. Nope not Wayne's daughter. It wasn't till my only adult relationship( the 5year bid) that I was introduced to it. It soon became a thing that we enjoyed to watch together, to be honest it brought us closer. Back then my favorite porn star was Lexington Steel! Shit! That chocolate man, and my boo would always make sure his "nana" ( shut up that was his nic name for me) always had her Lex videos.

Shit if it wasn't for my EX and porn I would no nothing about self pleasure, which I believe is essential for your mental health, ok my mental health. He was the one who not only showed me where my clitoris was, he also showed me what massaging it could do! I'm telling you my butt was at least 22-23 and its like it was A New Day Boy!! I remember it like it was yesterday, when he 1st told me to rub it during.. Back then I thought to myself " WTF? Could this dude be anymore lazy?? Now I gotta make myself cum, shit isn't that your job"!!

But now I'm happy he did, because now I can get this monkey off my back anytime, no problem!
I'm mean come on, if I was having sex regularly maybe I could call a upon a particular session for inspiration, but no such luck in my world! I need video to bring it all back!

A couple of my girlfriends recently confessed through my own admissions that they too are routinely checking for some smut! Lol.

We are all ask the question, are we watching it a bit too much? Has all the nastiness that we're watching cause us to want different ish in the bedroom? I gotta tell you for me it totally has! Lol. I look at it as enticing instructional video, safer than picking that shit up off the streets. Lol. It has definitely increased my interest in shit talking!! Oooo baby I love a good shit talker! For me it helps to keep me in that " Sasha Fierce" attitude during the session. Other wise my mind might wander! Also keeps me up on all the nasty shit, I could say and or contribute during.

To be honest with you, I visit my taboo world a good 4 to 5 times a week, and don't let it be a rainy saturday!! Shoooooot!!!

I'm not using a dildo though, I rather have the flesh for that! I just give my area a little massage to let her know how much I care! Lol. Ahhh its just soo much easier. Its a quick nut then I'm on my way. No drama, no frustration based around his short comings!

So how important of a role does porn play in your life or relationship?

I know I'm not alone who else is Porn-ING- IT-UP??

NicoleSpence.me

Play by Play Part 2 of " Dear Nicole my Girlfriend put her finger in my Booty

2009-10-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

Hi Guys!!

I gotta tell you, I'm still thinking and talking about yesterday's blog! Thank goodness my new freaky friend didn't hesitate to send me an email with the "Ass play" play by play! Please don't do what I did , read this shit with a glass of wine or some shit, because these two take their Fucking very seriously, read below.

hi sexy Nicole no my girl's friend has been doing it to her man only with a vibrator and she told my girl to try it with a finger first so she did and now last night she told me that she could feel my dick squirting nut after nut in her mouth like never before I tell u it felt like the head of my dick blew off it felt so good but I told her that's the limit ain't no vibrator going in my freaking asss lol ... it started off as my girl giving me a nice bath and massage so I was oiled up already and she told me get on all fours and pulled my dick from the back I called it a back tug lol... and she stuck a finger in that way by than my dick could of cut diamonds at that point.. so I was ready to nut real quick after that but she told me to turn over on the edge of the bed to give me some of her good as deep throat head and I blew my nut in like 5 min no joke but now I think she wants to try something bigger but fuck that ill keep you posted damm my
dick is hard just thinking about it.. take care your the best sexy

Did you guys read that? Wow! WTH is going on in that house! lol. The "back tug" ain't no freaken joke!! I'm really trying to picture this dude on all fours and her sucking him and then inserting! Man I tell you just when you think you're doing shit in the bedroom and " if these walls could talk" but Shit come to find out I ain't doing shit, and if this is what everyone else is doing then I must be a wack Lay! { jokes lol} The shit I can't believe is that his girlfriend's friend is using a vibrator on her man!! WTF?? WHY?? I don't know if I could still be turned on after all of that, I would really feel like I'm on some man shit! Am I bugging? What's next? A Strap On?

I mean I have always heard about "prostate" massage, but I have never ever had the balls{giggles} to do that! But no Bullshit you guys sure as hell got me curious! Maybe one day I'll give it a try...
One of my readers " Donna" was cool enough to give me a website{ www.tnaflix.com}, that all of you curious people can check out, it gives instructions on how "massage" your man! From what Donna says, her man is handing over his paycheck because of it! OOo and BTW I recommend {www.Spankwire.com} for really cool FREE porn! { shut up stop judging me}

Shoooooot!!! I heard that shit, come to think of it " Mr.Randy" if you wanna try this, when you see me tonight give my bottom a little spank so I know what time it is! lol MUAH!!

Dear Nicole : " My girlfriend put her finger in my Booty"! September 30th

2009-09-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,
I know I'm late but Let's get busy( in my Aresenio Hall voice! Lol),
I have an interesting Dear Nicole letter read below:

the other night while getting some head from my girl she tried something new and stuck a finger in my azz and i nutted like i never before and it felt really good but i don't want her to think I'm gay or something how do i tell her i really liked that shit damm why did it feel so good? i need to know because if felt so fucking good but i'm no fag is that acceptable? thanks

Wow!! My first reaction is that you're not gay! But Let's be clear if a man that I'm seeing asked me to put a finger in his booty, I would immediately think his ass was gay!!
I mean that's just a hell of a request!
But you didn't ask for it, your girlfriend just tried something new and it turns out you dig it! It's actually kinda cool, that you guys are delving into uncharted territory like that. Sounds freaky but she is teaching you about your body. So that's cool! And I don't think you have to tell her how much you liked it, I'm sure she can tell by your reaction! Shooot if she likes to "Rep her city" as much as I do, she'll be doing that shit again and again for that same explosive reaction! Congrats!!

The flip side to that shit is,
I'm wondering if this is something you'll want all the time, now that you've been let's face it turned out! Ya'll remember Jameson the guy from the Swinger club, well he too told me about his girlfriend's need to put something in his ass!!" WHY"??? WTF?? Chicks want dicks now?? "WHY??" I'm cool on that shit all together, no thanks! I'll keep my pretty lotus flower!

So of course I'm wondering if this finger in the booty thing is going to or has it already spread like a freaking epidemic?? Shit balls ain't enough, now you guys need a finger insertion to get off?? Ahhh its like that Chris Rock joke, " Don't blame him, blame the nasty bitch before you, that's why he wants to do all that nasty shit!" Lol!

I don't know ass play has just never been my cup of tea. My ex tried that finger in my booty and I just don't like it! I rather have a "Salad", if you know what I'm talking about!! Lol So he can forget about anal sex all together!

Come to find out not all of my girls share my feelings about thinking back shots are enough, and I don't need it in my ass literally!

One of my younger girlfriends opened up to me because of this very topic! Apparently, she used to give her Ass to her man a bit too often she now realizes! He never once ate her pussy(remember her from " Are you rocking the Mic, and he's refusing to spit a verse!"), but he always wanted to do it in her butt! But she confessed that after doing in her butt for a while, her butt began to want it!! "WTF??!!! He turned me out she screamed!! WTF is all I can say!!! I watch a lot of porn ( stop judging me lol) and those big ol assholes look very scary and nasty to me! Nope nope not me! And how long does it take for your asshole to go back to normal? You ass givers holla at me! Lol

See man all that Ass play sounds very suspect to me!!! Is the Ass the new Pussy??

Hmmm this got me thinking, how did the finger insertion take place what position?? Were you laying down with her sucking and licking and then she cocked your legs back like a girl? Did she lick the area and then insert? Or was she on her knees and kept licking underneath and then made her way there and popped her finger in?? And which finger is she using? Was it one or two fingers? I need to know it all damn it!!

Alas there is no doubt about my friend your girlfriend has definitely opened up a door, but now that its open you never know what she might try next a finger could lead to a.... you know!!

But if you like it, I love it, so continue..and share with me!!! :-)

Tell the truth fellas do you like a little finger in your Anus? Lol. Ladies do you fantasize or have tried to stick your finger in your man's Ass?

Ps I really want to know how she went about inserting the finger, so hit me back buddy ;)

www.NicoleSpence.me

He went Limp Noodle during..Sept 21st

2009-09-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

So a good friend of mine recently started digging in the crates, and began messing with an old flame!
These 2 dated years ago pretty heavy actually, ish happened and they parted ways. But now he's back! The sex that she remembers was pretty fiery! Although she does recall having to initiate some of their sexual encounters. But it was still pretty Calente!

He's about 8years older than her, so she was looking forward to the whole " daddy" experience. Unfortunately things "down south" haven't been quite the way she remembers, while talking over Patron shots, she asked me if she should give him the ol Heave hoe!
Here's the skinny!

For starters he always wants to have sex in bedroom! "How boring"! Never has their sex been in random places, which can totally spice things up. Even when the make out session starts out in the Living Room, and he's bending her over the couch kissing (well smooching is more accurate lol) her passionately.. He still insists on closing the deal in bedroom! " Lame"! Unfortunately I can relate to that part of the bullshit! I remember while dating someone a while back, he thought that certain stuff that I wanted in bed like spanking or heavy shit talking, wasn't appropriate to do with "Wifey"! Which I never understood, and quite frankly help to end our situation! My thought process was " oh so you're gonna give me the wack dick and then fuck the shit out of someone else, because she isn't you're girl!" Well then I don't want to be your girl, now can I then get the dick I want?? " Thanks!"

She also doesn't like the way he kisses, it seems like this dude only likes to gives pecks! It’s like raping his ass to get a little tongue! " You got to be kidding me??" I'm sorry but a kiss can make or break it. I know some people don't like to kiss, but me I want it and you better kiss the shit outta me or we ain't doing shit else! So I totally get why she is so frustrated!

Ya'll know if he isn't really kissing you can forget about foreplay, which he has totally. He'll give her a little nibble on the nipple, and that's about all he's gonna do! Just recently he called himself spicing it up by giving her sweet spot quickie kiss, which BTW he routinely avoids doing. I never ever understood that shit, and it always takes place with the big d@ck men! Its like they figure you should take this big d@ck and shut up! But come on doesn't that Steak look bare on the plate with no sides?? You need something like potatoes to go with it, right? Well pussy is the potatoes, eat it damn it! Shit! And after that lack luster oral performance, you guessed it! He's ready to start the show! " Yikes"

But the shit that broke the camel's back and the shit that I'm pleading with her not to stand for, put on your shoes and get to running.. Dude went Limp during their session TWICE!! At this time her arousal is purely stimulated by the size of his Johnson, not because he knows what to do with it. So of course she is starting to do the math!

This is how the wackness would usually jump off, things would be getting pretty hot, and as soon as its time to change positions, he gets soft! And like a true lame he tries to act like she can't tell that ish just happened! So what does he do? He tries to still cram “Mr. Softie” in of course to no avail! "ILL Gross!!" I mean u can't ride it, if he's not at attention, so WTF! " This is getting awkward dude!" And can you believe this MoFo wants to always leave the lights off too, like All the time! I guess he doesn't want to see the disappointment on her face, because I don't know too many dudes that don't want to see the Show! Right? To her and I'm sure all of you the sex seems very mechanical!

She's not kidding herself she knows he's not a good lover but the size sometimes calls her! Lol I gotta laugh because I know what that's all about, you get a big one and you want to Will that shit into working!! Lol Simply cuz the D looks soo pretty and yummy!! Lmao!

So my smart ass question to her is" what you trynna do? 3 strikes and say you're out??"Because I would have cracked his skull already! " Uhm excuse me, you see I got this f*ck body don't you? Well then you betta fuck me!" Sorry buddy those are the rules; you need to have a steel bat to play this game!

So I say that it’s over like a Fat Rat! I normally just bounce if I'm sexually disgusted, but maybe that's immature. So go ahead and have a conversation with him, since in the past he was able to deliver. There might be a better explanation for the Limpness!
I mean you just never know..

Maybe he has an issue with condoms, he did just get out of a relationship so he might be used to the “Raw” or maybe he's trying too hard, and it’s fucking with his mentals so he can't stay hard! But with all these problems with his pipes, do you really still care? Lol Do you really want Temperamental Penis?

What do you guys think? What is dude's problem and should she even try to talk it over with him, or just Peace it out?

NicoleSpence.ME

Wanna Swing? Sex club invite! September 14th

2009-09-13T16:22:00.000-07:00

So I was on the way to school talking on the phone with one of my girlfriends. I brought up a previous conversation that I had with my friend Jack. Just recently Jack invited me to go with him to check out this Sex club in Brooklyn. Jack knows damn well that I won’t be partaking in any of the reckless behavior, but we both figured it would be juicy material for me to write about, if I wasn’t such a damn fraidy cat, and I actually had the balls to enter such a place.

The crazy shit is nasty people are everywhere, as I’m walking and chit chatting to my surprise this clean cut black guy over hears my conversation. As I attempt to cross the street he stops me. Now I’m thinking “ Oh you want my number?” But No! He tells me “ I didn’t mean to over hear your conversation, but I did. My girlfriend and I are looking for a new Sex club, can you tell me the name of the one you were just speaking about?” Get the fuck outta here! You swing? He begins to ask if I’m apart of the “community” I say, "No" followed by a very loud weird laugh. Lol

But me being nosey I just had to get all up in his Kool- Aid! “ Tell me all about this Sex club, and your Boo! “ Dude was so cool and really didn’t mind sharing their story with me. Let’s call him Jameson!

Jameson and his girlfriend have been dating for about a year now. However, after about 3months of dating she found his porn collection in his apartment. Jameson remembers feeling awkward and embarrassed at her finding them. To his surprise she was more than cool with his collection and began to inquire whether he would be interested in watching Live! Of course instinctively he thought that shit was some type of joke or massive set up. Lol. But nope she was serious, she begins to tell him that she is a member of this sex club in the Meat Packing district, and that they could go there together and “play”. Man I just couldn’t believe my ears! The girl is the one who turns out the guy?? Wow! So the deal with the Sex club is that No single guys couples only. Single girls are allowed but a female member must accompany the men. Not everyone engages in sexual activity there, some women are dressed in lingerie or naked but you might even see women in business attire! “Shut Up”!

The first time Jameson and his girlfriend visit the club he was very nervous, so his girlfriend did most of the work, you know selecting the couple. Their first time was with an older white couple but it wasn’t at the club. The couples made a date to meet another night to exchange medical records and “connect “ in a private setting. Jameson says that this is a “lifestyle” medical checkup are mandatory and that people who are in this community are a lot more health conscious then us “naysayers.” He assures me that condoms are always heavily enforced! I hope so shoooooot! Once at the couple's apartment and pleasantries are exchanged, the wife begins to make her move on Jameson and starts to kiss him. Since he was still feeling a bit uneasy he glances at his girlfriend who encourages him to enjoy as she makes her way across the room to the husband. Some swingers might switch partners during their session, but these two were in it to experience someone new to the fullest!

After their encounter Jameson and his girlfriend go back home and have sex, alone! According to him the sex is even better! The sex was even hotter because these two were trying to restore the balance in the house. You know that “ this is still my pussy” type of shit!

I can’t lie I always find open relationships interesting especially when you see couples “successfully” making it work. I keep hearing that the trick or mindset is to see sex as just that sex.

Here's an interesting statistic though; according to www.ActualSwingers.com 20% of American couples are Swingers! And that couples that enter into a swinging lifestyle can increase their enjoyment and satisfaction in the relationship. They also consider this lifestyle as bringing in a better understanding of themselves and their partner, therefore enhancing their intimacy. Couples who “ Swing” don’t’ enter into to this lifestyle because they are currently in a failing relationship. It’s the opposite. These couples consider themselves to have a great foundation built on trust.

Oh yea when I asked Jameson if he would marry his girlfriend, he responded with “Ahhh right now we’re just having fun, I’m not thinking about marriage”! Uhm I didn’t think so buddy!!

Although I may visit and be curious a Swinger’s life is not for me. But if my Golden Girls and I ever make it to a Sex club you guys will be the 1st to know.

Anyway who else is swinging out there? Have you ever wondered how the other side lives? Share with me!!

www.NicoleSpence.ME

Ugly = Security? September 8th!

2009-09-07T13:59:00.001-07:00

Lol. Ahh shit! I don't want this to be true!

The other day my girlfriend Jihan took it upon herself to school me! According to her I need to relax a little bit with my list, not be soo tight, at least the aesthetics part of it.

She's says "Nicole he might not come exactly the way you think he's going to come". See if Nicole says I want Tall Dark Handsome, and uhm that's exactly what I want. Lol I don't want to try anything else, thank you very much. "Problem" says Jihan; "your guy might come short and kinda thick"! What?? Why??? Why are you damning me Jihanny?!

Would you believe she accused me of "acting like a dude!" " Nicole come on Men that are too pretty come with too much drama, and they don't ever want to do shit. "When was the last time a pretty one didn't come to you with some bullshit?!( :/ ) The Alright to the Ugly looking dudes have to work a lot harder at everything! At life! The Cuties tend to have things handed to them"!
The trend that Jihan is noticing is that the world is a bit colder to the ugly guy, slightly awkward guy, so he's a lot more determined.

"Nicole when was the last time you saw two pretty's together??"lol. "You always see a Dime piece with someone a little bit under". Lol She says "the Ugly guy will cherish you,he sees you as his prize! Meanwhile the cutie is in competition with you! That ass thinks he's the prize! He believes deep down you'll put up with his shit, because he's so fine"! Yikes I'm beginning to feel exposed Jihan, stop it, and get the light out my eyes please!! Lol Jihan urged me to start looking into security and not his looks! She says" he doesn't have to be totally Ugly, but he doesn't have to be 100% your type either". You gotta start giving other guys a chance Nicole!

I must tell you the whole thought of this bullshit, is making me feel soo Waiting to Exhale! Of course I'm Robin, and I'm trying to get it poppin' with the fat dude with glasses, because he could provide the house in Scottsdale! When I really want Russell!! Ok fine maybe Robin did end up pregnant with Russell's baby and alone. But to this day I sure as hell didn't and don't think she missed the boat with fatty! House or no House! Or should I say Boat or no Boat( Rohan joke! Lol) In my movie Russell comes with the house in Scottsdale, ya dig!

Shit I know some girls who won't date a man if he doesn't have a car! Not me, I'll date him if he's a cutie! Is that bad? Lol. It’s NYC I don't mind cabs, or trains, just me and my cutie, besides he can always get that car..lol

You know something when I was younger I was more open to the "personality" guys. Shit this guy that I wasn't really attracted to in the beginning won me over with everything else and I ended up staying for a pretty long time. When our relationship was good it was good, but when stuff started to fizzle out I didn't have that "physical attraction" for him to bring me back. I want to still want to do my man, even though I'm mad at him! You know that intense physical attraction. Without it I was out. Lol. Since then I only drive in the Cutie lane. I'm going after what makes me hot instantly, and then we can build our bridge over troubled waters! Lol. Shit! Come to think of it, maybe that's not such a good look considering I did date this guy that I thought was soo hot, I had a real Jones in my bones for him. But come to find out he was all looks; he didn't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of! Lol. But since he was pretty the world seemed somewhat nicer with his dapper clothes (real deal was his B.F.F. worked @Bergdorf), sweet smelling cologne and pretty white teeth. I know I was extra nice to his fine ass and dated him way longer than I should have. I didn't wake up seriously no bullshit until I realized that he thought Las Vegas, was in Los Angeles! Lol ahhhh FML.

Well maybe I'm just a little bit Shallow Damn it! Am I Shallow Nic?!! Its not that I only want pretty looks, but I can grow to like and build with you, I don't want to grow into being attracted to him! Am I bugging? But come on you're attracted to what you're attracted to, am I really damning myself by not giving the short thick guy in the corner a chance?? Lol

No! I can't be alone! Are any of you guys, and gals successfully or unsuccessfully dating initially for the Pretty?

NicoleSpence.Me
" Nic@Nite."

What is Oprah teaching my Parents?! August 31st

2009-08-31T08:22:00.000-07:00

Hiii Guys

I'm sorry for the delay I was away visiting my parents in Florida. And I swear my mother zapped my energy! lol. Lesma is no joke and what I thought was going to be a very uneventful trip turned out to be Crazy! There were two particular episodes that I need to shine some light on, however today we will talk about one, simply because I'm still trying to figure out the other unexpected foolishness that went down.

So you remember a while back I told you guys that my mother read my blog and told my father that it was a "whole heap of sex talk", although you might not have been able to read my nervousness through the blog, I really was. I mean shit Lesma reading this could never be a good thing. Growing up my mother was very very strict! Boys weren't allowed to call the house until I moved out! lol. Seriously I think I was about 19 years old before my mother thought that phone conversation with a boy was appropriate.
Senior year when the subject of the Prom came up, I basically had to tell her that I was going with my Best Friend Hope. All that was important was school, and keeping the house tidy!

Naturally I didn't know what to expect now that Lesma was a voyager in my "dirty" world of blogging. I did think it was odd that I didn't get a scolding phone call from her asking me if this was the way she raised me? But I thought for sure, If I'm down there for a week the words and questions are going to be flying so I better get ready!
But nothing could prepare me for what actually happened in Florida with the Spences.

Late Wednesday evening I was sitting on the couch chatting foolishness with daddy while my mommy was roller setting her hair in the bathroom. I noticed that daddy was having some side conversation with a woman via text {Wayne and his texting boy}.I immediately start playing with both my parents saying" If you were my husband you couldn't text no woman, I would clip him!" lol. My father finds this hilarious and uses the moment to quip" please Nicole what man would marry you" lol This is how me and my daddy always play. All of a sudden mommy comes out the bathroom, and she's like " Nicole you just tell him, for me, all of a sudden he's telling me I need to start wearing Thongs"! WHAT!!!!!! Uhm excuse me?? My nervous laughter filled the room! What the hell is going on in this house??!! My mind began to wander " shit Aunt Jasmine did say she took mommy to Victoria's Secret the other day, which I thought was very strange I don't think Lesma has ever been there, I mean maybe for the lotions but that's it. I mean I thought maybe she picked out some high cut briefs not THONGS!!!! WTF!! Whew I didn't need that visual, but then the conversation got worse! Lesma wasn't done airing him out. lol She goes on about how Daddy was watching Dr. Oz, you know Oprah's homeboy, and Dr. Oz told him that if he lost half of his belly he would have longer D**k!!! I know my Uncle Mark{daddy's brother} and Maurice are gasping for air right now! Yup Lesma said D**K!! I have never ever heard her say those words ever, and my ears will never ever be same! Even my father looked shocked as we both screamed out in Laughter! TMI Mommy, TMI!! My father and I usually go running in the am, and he is always focusing extra hard on holding in his belly, now this shit makes soo much sense! My parents are nasty! lol.

But what has happened here? Do my parents think that because I openly write about Sex and Relationships that we can now openly discuss their relationship? Uhm not sure if I'm 100% ready for that one, but it is cute that they could still be getting it in at 60ish! I guess we already know there ain't no hope for me, since I'm a Spence I'll probably want till I'm about 80! lol Which reminds me I should dedicate a blog to the Spence men, for they are 100% responsible for the beautiful Man that I am today! Jokes.. Muah!!

NicoleSpence.ME

Drive Slow Homie... August 17th!

2009-08-17T07:49:00.001-07:00

I just can't stand a Sucker for Love, you know the type of man that just falls for any and every woman that gives him the time of day!

My besty Aisha and I were talking about this very topic over Fried Chicken and Waffles. A mutual friend of ours Lindsay just started dating this guy for like a month and he's already talking about them living together and of course he has already said I Love You!

See that shit would alarm me, I wouldn't see it as romantic, or soul mate-ish the way that Lindsay sees it, and come to find out Aisha.

If a guy starts pressing me for a relationship early I immediately think " hold up, are you some Sucker for Love??" Not Aisha though she points out " Nicole when a man is ready to settle down, he just is! He's ready, that doesn’t make him a Sucker for Love!” The way she sees it, clearly the man sees she is a gift, and therefore he is ready to make her his! And of course Aisha is the Married one!

But what does that say about me? Since the first thing I think about is “Shit! How many others did you jump to feel this way for?” What the hell makes you want to jump into this so soon?

Since I'm not easily moved, I'm extra cautious of those who seem to be. It takes me a long time to know if I really care for someone, much less say I love you! Even telling someone "I like you" requires what I consider to be a very uncomfortable vulnerability. I'm just not saying any of it, unless I REALLY felt that way, without a doubt. Pfffffttt I'm in no rush to leave the" we're just chilling."

Why the hell is it so easy for him?
I'm not saying I want a war or have to fight love outta him for there to be love between us, but I do prefer a simmer to boil type of deal. Isn't it appreciated more that way?

When I was in my early 20's I entered into a relationship that lasted about 4years, and we jumped into it after seeing each other for only a week. So we clearly didn't really know each other. What can I say I was very young Lol. But after 2 weeks He said,” I love you"! Even back then a little voice would whisper to me, "hmmm is this boy just looking for any skirt to hide under??" Although he said he loved me, it was a while before his actions matched his words.

After spending all those years with him, I gotta tell you he was a Sucker for Love! He loved the idea of being in love, someone loving and taking care of him, unfortunately reciprocity wasn't always his specialty. The deeper stuff, the stuff that really makes a relationship float was too much for him. The Baby Boy wasn’t ready for anything heavy. He just wanted to lock me down, enslave me with 3 words. Lol

To this day I make fun of him, asking questions like who do you think you love now?? LoL I'm just joking of course, but not really..

But I now I'm wondering if this way of thinking isn't common sense like I thought it was. Is this paranoia? Am I commitment phobic? Could I be subconsciously turning myself into the " Hey there lonely girl?" I didn't think I was still carrying baggage from my past, but maybe..

Should it really matter how many times the person said I love you prior to meeting you? If he loved every girl before you and every girlfriend was special, does that mean his love for you is generic?

Allegedly Jamie Foxx and Dwight Howard drop their draws, let's talk about it! August 14th!

2009-08-14T08:17:00.001-07:00

This week is a big week for Peters, I feel like both of these brothers launched these nudy pictures just for me, so lets go in!

Those know me know I love basketball.
And they also know that I can't stand Dwight Howard I just never liked that big kid shit he's on! Not to mention that sub par performance during the slam-dunk contest.

But this picture is just proof that we just never know what we going to get, with these dudes! Dwight is 6'11 265lbs for no damn reason. Lol
His peter is just wack looking, isn't it. Ugly! The head all big the shaft all skinny! Very mushroomy .He didn't even care enough about it to groom it!! It’s all peasy! I mean who are u taking these pictures for?? It looks stinky! He's dangling it like it’s a" Teela"(baby penis) not a dick! Right? What happened to a firm grip?? He doesn't even want to touch it. Lol.

Oh the other hand check out Jamie Foxx!!!
Hmmm Jamie Foxx's peter looks yummy to me, am I wrong? His actually matches his body type. It’s not too big; it's average, with good girth! That whole skinny shaft big head that Dwight's rocking just isn't my steez. I am surprised that Jamie's body is that serious, even his butt looks nice! And you see how groomed this brother is? He loves his Peter; he takes good care of it! I looked at the pic 3 times before I realized he was in front of a toilet! Shit who cares! Dwight is the one that looks stinky! So I’ll be singing "Just Like Me" a little harder and "Blame it on the Alcohol" might make me blush now, but I still wont be paying attention to Dwight .

Ahhh I just had to share because now I have even more reason to not care come November! I like said before people Dwight IS NO SUPERMAN-
Talk to me Ladies which "Mic" would you rock? giggles!!!

Click on the links below, but I warn it’s not safe to click @ work!
http://www.zshare.net/image/6410901903e051ad/
http://img102.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc4&image=82512_Dwight_Howard_PicsVERYNSFW_123_4lo.jpg

Nicolespence.ME

Sailing Massacre! I think Rohan is Dead, dead issue! August 11th

2009-08-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ok first let me say this blog is going to be lengthy because I need to make sure I have all the details so you guys understand what the hell happened this weekend.

After I sent out Friday's blog regarding the belly rub, I got interesting feedback from 2 of my favorite people, who BTW read my blogs every week but never ever write a response back. They love em but they're very busy. But this time was different my cousin Maurice and my Uncle Mark both sent me an email! And Marky actually made a point to call me Saturday morning to further state his point. They basically expressed that they thought I shouldn't have been so turned off by the belly grab and to give him a shot! Mark's exact words were " you wanna accept the ok guy, but castrate the perfect guy" hmmm they could be on to something. Oh and Maurice kindly pointed out its time to tighten up the belly too! lol. Since these 2 men really know me, they know I throw up all types of walls! So I listened to what they had to say, and I thought you know they could be right. Rohan does seem like a nice guy and he obviously he takes himself and his family seriously, and he's so accomplished. I need to be more open to new people and allow myself to get to know him, allow him to get to know me. Got it!

So fast forward Ro and I go out to dinner on Friday night to this Spanish restaurant in New Rochelle! Not sure if my family's words were working its magic, or if it was the Sangria, but he was looking extra cute to me, and body didn't look quite so round.. Lol It was cool. My girlfriend Tamara reached out during dinner, suggesting that I meet her at Ripe Kitchen@ midnight. Ripe is this Jamaican restaurant in Mount Vernon that me and my Golden Girls love!

Dinner went well and we had time to kill before my drop off at Ripe. So he asked if I mind if we stop at his place to feed the dogs? I didn't mind, and I actually wanted to see this house. I'm curious shit! Let me say this, his house was lovely! Just lovely and its an older house, and he's doing some great renovations on it. It has a lot of character, extremely nice for anyone to own, especially since it's his 1st house. Of course I start to think wow he's Dope!! Again no kids, never been married, Nice!!

We call it a night, no kiss, just good night to a nice night. However we did make plans to go sailing over weekend, maybe Saturday or Sunday we'll see.

Late Saturday afternoon, and he asked if I would be interested in coming to City Island to the Marina his yacht club was having a party. I just finished doing some yard work feeling dusty but I accepted the invite and invited 2 girlfriends with me, and we met up with him and 3 of his friends.

Once there we enjoyed the food and party, and then set sail for a ride to the Statue of Liberty.

All was cool in the gang at first then shit got crazy. Ro was driving the boat pretty fast, and by time we stopped in the water by our lady liberty my ass was Green and ready to throw up all over this damn boat! All I could think about was get me off this shit! So not cute. Yup leave it to me to kill the whole vibe!

Needless to say we had to make our back to the Marina!Once we got back and the boat was docked my stomach was finally back to normal. So we just all sat around on the boat drinking Mimosas and talking.

My friends and I began to realize that since we've been on this boat all we've been listening to was Lil Wayne, Jeezy and Dip Set 50cent! Wtf!! The girls and I started cracking up saying " let's hear some other type of music" you know like that shit is cool for little but all day!! Come on, don't you have that new Mario at least? Lol But these dudes weren't trying hear that.

Although we were making comments it was jokes, there was no need for what was about to go down! And keep in mind this shit is all over Hip Hop! It all happened so quickly but it started something like this. This guy Amar said to me that I would appreciate Rap more if I was from the Bronx!! Huh! What? Really dude? I thought that was a stupid ass statement especially since I am from the Bronx! I grew up in Rockland yes, but what the hell does that have to do with anything?? I'm Nicole, I like Rap, but all this f@ck b*tch , hoe that, all day is like angry music play some other shit! But honestly I kept all these statements to myself, I didn't want to argue with fools. So I left it as " That's not accurate, you don't know what you're talking about. Whether I'm from the Bronx or not has nothing to do with it!" He continued with his foolishness. But my girl Clara wasn't having that shit one freaken bit! She heard enough. And before I could blink my eyes! She was calling them dudes all types of Ignorant Bitches, Dumb Asses, and all was flying out of her mouth! lol. So things got heated quick! Yup Clara got a short ass fuse! Next thing I know she says a couple of more F@ck You's then she jumps off the damn boat!! SHAT!! Lmao! I mean we were already docked! But it was dark as shit 10:30 to be exact, and u know the water still causes the boat to sway some. So you're supposed grab the rope and pull the boat closer to the dock to get off! Nope not Clara, she's pissed and decides to Jordan leap off that shit! And still exchanging F@ck Yous with them as she walks along the pier! Hilarious. So me and my other girl say good night and promptly exit the boat immediately after that shit! The guys were still talking crazy as we walked down the pier the last words were something, like " Tell that B@tch to listen Hot97 on the way home!"

Wasn't that some crazy shit! Lol So here we are minutes to 11, and the Marina is like at the end of City Island. So we try and catch a cab, of course we can't! And we end up WALKING to the beginning of the Island and getting on the Damn Bx29 BUS!!!! WTF!!!
How the hell did our night turn into this!!

But I just think Rohan is a piece of shit! Because even though this argument had nothing to do with us , did you guys notice that I didn't say shit about him getting off the boat with us and making sure we got home safely! Shit move your Fat Ass off the boat and your Benz and take us the home! Nope he didn't. You know what he choose to do? Text me instead! Asshole!

So taking a page from my uncle's book I decided to explain why I was mad, instead of just throwing him away the way I normally discard shit! Nope this time I was more upfront about what took place, and instead of immediately saying sorry he defended his actions! And then he totally crossed the line and got real ugly with me.

Read the text exchange below :

Rohan : i feel bad whats up? where r u?

Me: really? hmm well honestly that incident should have never taken place, it upset me that it did. Ya know like on both parts, just escalated for no reason,but at the same time I think if you have any interest in me or pursuing me, claiming to want to get to know me, or just respecting me as a lady you should have at least walked me and my girlfriends out and made sure we were good. Not texting me. I don't like that. And it says a lot about you. Have a good night.

Rohan : yo yall ran out of here mad fast, i have showed u nothing but respect since we met.. ur girl and my friends should not have anything to do with us... i was i was calling u mad times but ur phone was going to voice mail.

Me: Its all good homie. we didn't run actually.

Rohan : don't put this on me because i tried to do nothing but make u comfortable.... but if you don't feel that way that's not on me. Its on you!

Me :You're a trip. You sat ur ass right there as I left the boat! I didn't exit the pier right away so you didn't move an inch! Lol. Its all good, I honestly don't care. You can lose the number :-)

Rohan : yo ur sister got mad on some stupid shit all he said was that if u were from the Bronx u would like the music... but ur mom was right u need ur teeth fixed

Me : Kick Rocks!
--

You see that shit he said about my teeth??!!! LMAO! I just told that fucker a story about how mommy is always saying that, the night before not even 24hrs yet and he's already throwing that shit in my face??!! Punk! Ok maybe he didn't like me saying lose my number with a smiley face attached, but we could have slept on that. You know either lose the # or talk when we're both not so heated! I think him choosing to already throw darts like that shows how emotionally unstable he is, right? Can you imagine if I had already kissed him, or if we were intimate and I shared more than just that story!! Then he would have thrown all types of shit my way, I would have been a real dirty b@tch then right?

Ugh! Although I hated that the argument took place, and it was all over Nothing! I am happy that I saw this side of him. I knew something had to be off, and as far as I'm concerned he must really have a little one if he gotta act like that! Pffffftt!! Mr Randy would never! ;) lol.

So of course he has now sent a million sorrys and a million explanations. Like his feelings were really hurt when I told him to lose the number, so he wanted to hurt me because he was hurt. But I just feel there is no going back! He showed that crazy shit too soon, and now I gotta go!

Don't you agree, Rohan is a dead issue??

nicolespence.me

My date with Rohan! { the guy from July 4th ppl! lol} August 7th

2009-08-07T09:28:00.000-07:00

Ahh ok so I've hung out with Rohan twice. He's actually very chill with good conversation. He’s very Jamaican even wanted to swap curry chicken recipes. Lol. Our first outing was to a nice Thai restaurant (and I normally hate Thai) located at the Thompson hotel. The inside is very sexy with the best lighting and there is even a
Sexier outside seating most definitely a nice date spot. (@ 60 Thompson)

The second time we hung out was the day before yesterday. It was a very impromptu hang out session. He's spontaneous I like that! I went to Dos Caminos earlier to have an insane guacamole pig out session with my cousin. Rohan reaches out and suggests we meet up for some drinks. It was such a nice night in the city, I felt like the party should continue, so why not.

Ro meets me downtown, since I just stuffed my face he suggests we go to Merchants for drinks and cigars. The Merchants vibe was cool, we were downstairs in the smoking lounge, which is very warm and cozy with nice comfy sofas, if u can tolerate your clothes smelling like smoke when you leave, its a cool spot. I still made myself at home naturally. Any who, conversation between us was light, a nice steady flow. Nothing racy.
He definitely has a lot good going on in his life. No kids (he’s waiting for marriage) he has a great career as an Industrial Engineer (hmm a math wiz, good shit cuz I'm not) he owns his own house in Eastchester NY, drives a Benz and has a Boat! And he's only 27! (Another young one) Wtf, is right, a Boat! He has a lot right? My girlfriend Jihan said he might be over compensating for something he could be lacking. You know like he has a" Boat", because he doesn't have a Yacht! ;) LMAO

So there we were sitting and conversing at Merchants, we're both on our second round of drinks. All of a sudden Rohan does the craziest shit!
Ladies you know how when you sit down there might be a little belly pudge above your jeans, nothing crazy just a little belly. Lol. Well Rohan and I were talking about something as generic as the weather, and the Mf-er reaches in and grabs my BELLY!!!

WTF!! RING THE ALARM!! Omg!! No he didn't!! I didn't know what to do; of course instinctively I slap his hand and say WTF are you doing?? Why would you do that? Huh?? His face seemed shocked by my reaction but my face was shocked too I mean who the hell does that?? He kept saying how sorry he was and that he didn't mean anything by it, he thought it looked cute! I tell him, you grabbing my belly is like you just grabbing my breasts! You don't see me grabbing your crotch, do you? Or rubbing your belly? Why is that the Husky dudes, seem to be more into a woman's physique? Why are you so excited dude? Ooo the air just grew thick with tension. Lol

Ahhh I just have to laugh, and laugh loud sometimes. What's even funnier is earlier that night, he tells me how he's not fresh, and that his mommy raised him right. Uhm excuse me buddy but that was fresh. I told him now I question what you think is fresh! That was Fresh, you sneaking feels and shit!

When I think about my dating episodes my mind wanders to the discovery channel and I think I must be like the female elephant that releases a pheromone in her pee when she's mating. No matter where she pees or how many days later the male can track her down, he knows what time it is. Lol. Unfortunately for me my scent makes them crazy, cuz I swear the craziest ish be happening to me. Lol

Its just like a little while ago I went on a date with this nice looking brother, he was a talented writer. He took me to this Brazilian restaurant; I ordered this soup that I thought could have been warmer. Don't you know this man got up took the soup into the kitchen!!! Really?? Really?? You're gonna just by pass the waiters like that? Ok! Of course that was our first and last date. Lol.

What I realize is this dating shit right here, is no Ferris wheel no Carousel ride, when it comes to me and dating its the Free Fall, the Cyclone, the Batman, and any other scary ass ride! Lol

I also recently realized that Kennedy Fried Chicken sells the old school Mc Donald s apple pie! You know the fried ones! FML!!

Nicolespence.me

If He isn't your Boyfriend, would you tell him when your "Girlfriend" is in town? August 3rd

2009-08-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

Ugh my life I swear!

So this weekend my girlfriend "Flow" was in town! If you know what I'm talking about, and I think you do. A pain in the ass to deal with, but no biggie.

Mr. Randy gives me call and requests my appearance at his lovely chateau! (Crib in the Bronx!)
Sure I could have turned down the opportunity to go over there, especially since let's face it there’s not much we can do when I got this monkey on my back. But that's my buddy I wanna see him, I'll just tell him not today, and that will be that. After all its a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

Uhm Wrong! We were having a good time at the chateau just chilling. We start kissing and of course mother nature being the hating b*@ch that she is, I have to pump the breaks and say" nah babe let's just chill" What?? Wtf, are you talking about Nicole?? Yikes. Uhmm I'm talking about us just chill laxin! I could see the puzzled look on his face. But I honestly didn't know what to say and I didn't want the whole period scarlet letter, you know that's not sexy " she got her period yo".

Ahhh but the dance has already started so of course he wants to know why I'm not shaking a tail feather. We go back and forth for what seems to be never ending.
Finally I'm like SHIT Randy, I got my period! Thinking that would calm the storm, but of course it didn't.

Now Randy was even more annoyed and he thought I was being very immature by not telling him that from the beginning. He uttered" A man needs to know his boundaries!!" Don't you see how wrong you are for this Nicole? (I didn't) We could have avoided all this debating if you just told me that. Your period is Life!!

Wow! Ok so he says that while his eyes keep looking down at lower region! lol As if he looking to spot some mess. LMAO See that's what I thought would happen.. It's personal. I know every man knows a woman gets her period. But its still a personal lady matter. And if we're not in a relationship, why would I expose all my lady stuff to you? I haven’t even brought my Tie Head (head scarf) over yet. Lol. Sure the "not tonight" didn't work with Mr. Randy, but its worked in the past. Lmao.

I guess he's ego wanted to know what the real deal was, and that I wasn’t rejecting him. But I don't care what he says he didn't want to hear about my period...womp womp. Lol.

Weigh in on this, is that something you would tell someone that you're not in a relationship with?

www.nicolespence.me

Baby Momma is at his door, would you answer? July 27th

2009-07-26T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ahh this just happened no bullshit.

So there I was spending some time with a little friend of mine. He's that young thang (27 in2 months though lol) that I've been chilling with. .”Mr. Randy" ;)

It’s real cool and real light between us. You know just laughs and good times, no major promises, a friendship, where we're both open to the possibilities, but in no rush to get there- You know a BUDDY!!

So I'm over at his apartment visiting, and he steps out to go to check on his mommy real quick. (Momma’s boy lol)

All of the sudden the door bell rings! I'm like shit, this place is always poppin'! Then I hear the voices.. Shit it's his son and his baby momma! Wtf! Awkward! Shit! And she kept on ringing the bell too!! Only me I swear.

So I'm thinking, should I open the door? But open the door and say what:" He's not here"?? And what let's all sit here and chill till he comes back?? And what could make matters worse, is that his son knows me. Wouldn't that start the " how much is this chick over here" line of questioning?

Nahhh I think I'ma keep my butt right here and watch Golden Girls! Lol.

Snap I didn't even peek at her through the peephole! Rats!

I filled him in when he got back, and his reaction was like:" Oh word, did she throw any shade"? Shade?? Uhm I didn't let her in Randy! Why didn't you let her in Babe??

Huh? Uhm I don't know, I was thinking it wasn't appropriate to do that :/ Kinda like answering the house phone when it rings, right?

How do you think I played that?? Should I have answered the door?? Would you answer the door?

www.nicolespence.me

What's your Indicator that he might be packing?? July 22nd

2009-07-21T14:37:00.000-07:00

Lmao! Lmao! Ok don't ask me why this is on my mind so early in the morning but it is.
My girls and I are always talking about size. Yes because to us more honestly me, size does matter. But I just think it’s unfair the way some of these dudes can set you up for a disappointing discovery!
I normally stay with a certain body frame, because more than likely he'll have some down there that I will likey! Lol. For me its all about Tall and Lean, you know a nice athletic build. I'm figuring the short rounder men, are going to have exactly that. Short and stubby! Am I bugging??

An older friend of mine tells me its all in the way he walks, she actually tries to spot the gap between his legs, she says its like there a big bulge forcing their legs apart, u know he's the guy who sits real wide. And she does have a pretty good track record of" Big Daddy's" in her life. Hmmm Interesting..

Another friends said it’s all about the Feet! I'm a bit shaky on that theory, because all though she had a size 14 stunner, there's another girl who had size 12dud-.

My cousin was like " oh, please I give up, every time I think I got one he turns out to be small! But normally if he's 6'1 or taller he's usually decent down there!" You don't say?

I just think its unfair that men have a pretty good gauge what a woman's body would be like naked.. And for us ladies we just never know, why do we have to be on that Forest Gump box of chocolates ??

Cut the Shit! Fellas WTH, what should I be looking for? What are the signs, when it's crowded down there?!

Ladies share your indicators and success stories using that method with me will ya?!! Prevent any more women from having paedophile moments!

P.S.A.- If you're not packing any heat, I think you should let your lady know ahead of time, instead of crying Wolf! If she suffered from Vaginal dryness wouldn't you want to know early? Well it's the same Shit!
www.nicolespence.me

OMG Mommy read my Blog!! July 20th

2009-07-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

Lawd! The day has finally come Lesma (mommy) has read my blog. And knowing her she's logging on everyday to see what her sex crazed daughter is writing about.

Ugh and you know what's worse I brought this on myself I swear!
On Thursday I found out the profile that Aol Black Voices came out and I was so happy with it, that of course I have to call mommy and daddy tell them what their baby is up to!

Aww she was so happy, she barely recognized me in some of the pics, and of course she loved the Pilates look the best! Her exact words were" Oh my god you look good baby, wow, Wayne come look at Nikki"!
A great moment.

So a couple of hours go by and then it occurs to me the article had a hyper link to my blog, what if she clicks it??! Shit! And of course underestimating my mommy and over thinking her age, I'm like old school Jamaican woman she won't know to click the links but if she sends it to Jamaica someone else might, and then call my mommy! Shit!

So I immediately text my daddy (yup my parents text me) and say daddy tell mommy don't bother forward it to anyone. He doesn't respond right away so I call. The conversation went something like this:
Hey daddy, you get my text:" yea I got it monkey". And then he's like I'm looking at the article now and btw your mommy said she read your blogs and its a" whole heap of sex talk, is that true??!!??"

Shiiiiiiitttttt! Damn it! How did she know to click the links??? Then I'm like Nicole please mommy popped up on facebook the other day!

So here we are. My parents are probably reading this right now! Hiii mommy!!! This is tuff because I love writing about man and woman stories, sex talk and all! I'm a 30 year old woman that was brought up the right and the best way, but I am also a woman that is open about Sex and my Sexuality and of course equally open about Food! lol So Mama don't preach! But all jokes aside Lesma is all in!! Yikes!

Mommy as you read this remember that, I’m sure Dr. Ruth’s parents weren't into all her sex chat either! I'm not a bad girl, I love you!!!

Ps- I'm trying to find a way to block you from my page so don't get too comfortable mommy!! ;) Holla at me techy people!!

check out the article that caused my mommy and daddy drama :
http://www.bvblackspin.com/2009/07/16/wendy-williams-nicole-spence/

www.nicolespence.me

Oh Snap I got a Dear Nicole letter, and He doesn't want a Big Panty girl!"

2009-07-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

Hey Ya'll so you read correctly I got my 1st Dear Nicole letter and its a goodie!!
Here's the story :

So, I used have a physical relationship with a woman who is drop dead gorgeous. We were cool, but never a committed relationship. However, the sex was mean. We lost touch when she moved and recently she found me on facebook. Actually, FB has been the source of more than one, "Is that you Larry?" emails. I guess there is no expiration date on p**sy. And now that I am newly divorced, the playground is open with new AND old toys...but I digress.

This particular person is looking to get down and get down now! Problem is, she has put on a considerable amount of weight. I have no issues with a healthy woman. None at all. In fact, I love the ladies who have a lil extra and carry it with confidence. That's sexy. But this one, not a sexy addition. Not at all. Question is, how is that handled? Again, no problem with the big girls...but hers is not flattering. I remember the past and she is definitely not the person from the past. Now, I gotta get out of something my mouth committed me to.

Dear Mr. No love for the Big Girl :

Ok ok what can I say, I have never made apologies not being into over weight lovers, not my cup of tea. So I'm not mad that this Man saying he isn't attracted to this woman now that she's put on weight!
You're attracted to who and what you're attracted too. Everything isn't for everybody! Now if this was a situation where it seemed like you were interested in something more, something more meaningful than just a roll in the hay! I would say why not encourage her to live a healthier lifestyle, and trim down some! Work out together! Hell call Nicole for Pilates classes ( shameless plug) But if this is all about the sex, which is what I'm getting from your letter! I say if Mr. Peter isn't happy to see her then you can't do her. Keep it moving. I mean who cares if it isn't going any where! Save her for the man that likes all that xtra cushion.

Hmm side note, you sound like now that you're divorced you're the first one in line for the "Freak Train"! You might wanna calm all that down, and not be so hot in the pants!

Just my thoughts.. Lol

He has a child, but he won't date a woman with one! July 13th!

2009-07-12T14:31:00.001-07:00

Hey Ya'll
Do you remember my friend Jack, you know the one that was hella wack, and wouldn't kiss a girl after she rocked his mic right! Well he's back, and still wack. So let me remind you that Jack was also at one point engaged to be married. Things didn't work out between him and the young lady (because his ass doesn't know how to keep his butt home and wanna be all up in the club, all up in people's faces! Lol. I just had to get that out real quick! Lol!) But they do however share a child together.
I have to say Jack's a good daddy, he might be a bit of a spoiler but he's always 100% there for his son. Ok so we'll give him that, high five Jack!

But anyway we were having one of our many complex relationship talks on the phone. Basically Jack's a big ol Hoe! Lmao. He enjoys spending time with an array of women, even some women who like women type of stuff. But I guess that's not too uncommon these days. Any who not sure how the topic of women having kids came about, but here we were.

Jack was telling me he wouldn’t date a woman with kid, or kids! What?!! He said, Nah that's a deal breaker right there. Not sure why that ticked me off so much, considering I don't have kids, and to be honest I used to be very adamant about not dating men with a child/children. Like in my 20's I was rep- ping that ish hard, " Say what? You got kids I'm cool!” But be that as it may I instantly thought, you who has a child, has the nerve to draw the line with a woman who has one too! What part of the game is that? I don't get it.
Jack was like, "listen Nicole, it burns me that I can't be with my son on a daily basis, I could never allow myself to be there for another man's child on that level, and not be able to give my son that"!
Wow. Ok not sure how I feel about that. I mean I'm not a parent, and of course I never try and sit in judgment. But I wondered did Jack just make a solid point? Or dead ass wrong!

I mean I didn't want a man with a child, because I myself didn't have one. So I always envisioned my first experiences of having a child should be his too, I didn't wanna hear " oh nah that's just a little morning sickness, Tasha had that too"! Lol. You know what I'm saying!!
But Jack, what was Jack talking about?? I think that's wrong dude.

Jack insisted that there were a lot of men that would cheer is narrow minded behind on!

So I decided to add a people poll question with this blog!
So men with children weigh in, let me know how you feel about this one, are you riding with Jack?

The 4th was a Joke! July 6th!

2009-07-06T11:38:00.001-07:00

So my 4th was pretty much wack! Lol. I didn't do anything other than start the day off getting faded with my Homie Wid crying and watching the Michael Jackson tribute on TV!
A cool day. That's when I get a phone call, from a blast from the past, who apparently thought since it was the holiday weekend it would be a good day to start digging in the crates! We'll call him Tommy, Tommy the DJ.

Tommy gets on my last damn nerves, and Saturday was the day that I had to tell him about his ass!
Tommy and I were intimate, but there wasn't any sparks! I thought and still think that he lacks intimacy skills and we most definitely didn't speak the same sex language. Lol. I laugh now, but that shit used to irritate the f%@k outta me! Like first off he's cool after 1 ight Session!! Yup he's a One Nutter! WTH?? Come on brother, you're like how old?? Let's get it going again. And to make matters worse, he would take forever to return to the bedroom from the bathroom after the session. I mean I'm talking about a good 8mins! WTF was he doing in there??!! So of course I was annoyed and turned off like nobody's business each time that this would happen.

Tommy felt the cold shoulder that I intended him to feel and he inquired one day, that's when I told him “We don't speak the same sex language”! What! He screams Nicole you're crazy!! Crazy?? I'm not, crazy! You're the one who takes like 10mins to come out of the bathroom, and then walks around the apartment like there can be anything else to do round this b%@ch, besides the obvious! And do you know why he said he takes so long in the bathroom??!! This grown man who is highly educated and quite successful no kids having ass was doing??? He pees in the condom, to make sure there isn't a HOLE!!! OMG! This is just wrong on sooo many levels, I felt instantly like I was back in high school sneaking a phuck with my high school boo who was also sexually challenged!
Enough! That was the end of Tommy, and the good sex that I was never going to get from him!
I moved on! So on Saturday when he called after months of us not talking and after he texts me “Happy Bday"! I naturally was thinking WTH is he calling for?? Lame ass! Harsh I know but his wackness irritates me, honestly. He is also the brother that loves to sell tickets to the "Happily Ever After" show, that I was never interested in attending! So tired! And that's exactly what he called me gushing about! His exact words to me was, "How are you going to go without speaking to me, how can you do that to yourself, or to me"!! Is this fool on crack?? I deleted your number brother, because I don't need it! No game there, my career is based on the #'s I can dial, and there is no reason to dial yours. He then he talks about this "friendship" that he claims that we had, and that it meant so much to him! He loves me. Now I don't know if his delusional state was this Lame's effort to continue to sell the okey doke! But I asked him what friendship?? You don't even know that I love Basketball! Why do you use words that don't pertain to you?? You haven't been a friend or a good friend to me, nor have I been to you. We know each other, and yes we've been intimate but shit happens I'll take that "L", that doesn't make this a quality friendship. We've gone a couple of months with no talk, and u text me on my bday, this call is a joke! Scram Stan!!

Ahhh only in my life!! So now what was I supposed to do with the rest of my day??

Just when I thought the day was lost, a girlfriend of mine invited me to a bbq. What you guys don't know yet is that I'm the bbq groupie, especially if the person throwing it is West Indian! Shooooot you know the food is going to be good so I'll be there will bells on and a Tupperware to take home my potato salad and jerk chicken!

All dressed in my pretty loose fitting summer dress, perfect for a bbq cuz you never know how much food you'll consume. But I either got to the bbq too late 9pm (but I was told 7/8ish arrival) but that ish was over! There was no food out, not even a hint of jerk! And that girlfriend that invited me she also pulled a no show! SHAT! This really stinks!!

But all was not completely lost, I met someone! Lol. Just like Nicole I tell you, she'll pick up someone at path mark! Lol. He's Jamaican and 27 and does real estate, me and these young boys! Lol but he's a cutie! The only thing is.. He needs some" Remixing", ya know! Like he's cute but like a little dumpling cute! He could stand to lose like 15lbs! Yikes did I just say that? But it’s true! Is it wrong that I wanna change him up some? Is Remixing allowed? I mean we would make a cute couple regardless! But if he starts out at this size at 27 when I actually start cooking for him (he's Jamaican so me not cooking can't happen!) he's gonna be a house! Hmmmm maybe we can workout together: /
Anyway I'll keep you posted on Rohan my Jamaican Sugar Dumpling

But be honest, is it ok to Remix your potential Boo? Or do you keep it as he or she isn’t for you?

ps** I'm the new panelist on Music Choice's show "Certified", yup Me! So check it out it airs today July 6th! And every Monday there after, check your Ondemand for local listings! :)

www.nicolespence.me

He's my Man, He's a Father , and He thinks He can Work for Free??!!

2009-06-30T09:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I went out to eat with one of my close friends, to one of our Fat Girl local eateries “Red Lobster"! Please no need to ask if I went in on the biscuits of course I did, and picked up a "Love It" size of birthday cake remix from Cold stone after. Judge me later; we have more pressing biz to discuss!

So me and my girl let's call her Toya, were throwing back biscuits and catching up. Currently Toya is in a relationship, which frankly keeps her pretty caught up playing Wifey! I joked about her finding the time to come out from under him, to have dinner with me! Lol. A joke of course, but let's face it they are still pretty much in the "newness" and drowning in the "I can't get enough" so I barely ever see this girl! But as her girl I know that sometimes it requires you to be accepting of your girl and her disappearing acts, cuz now there is a man in the picture. Lol.

Here's the dish, the young man that she's dating is like 28 and a father to 2 kids (not hers). For a while now "Kevin" hasn't been working. He lost his job a while ago, and has had some job prospects but nothing too concrete, clearly since he's still unemployed. Toya however has a great entertainment job as a Big Time TV Producer! So proud of her, you go girl!

However it seems as though "Kevin" has caught the “industry" bug, because all of a sudden he's changing gears and has decided that he would like to get into the demanding world of entertainment PR!

Wow I thought, really? Entertainment PR, ok that's cool. So what's his plan I inquired. That's when Toya, tells me "Nicole he is doing some PR work for some unsigned hype and he's doing it for FREE!!! What the hell?? For Free?? How does a man with 2 kids ever think that's it’s a good idea to do anything for Free?!! Doesn't he have mouths to feed? Or does that now fall on Toya and his baby momma, while his butt interns basically?? I found this sooo funny and so familiar at the same time!
I asked Toy if she has spoken up about this poor decision, or kept her mouth shut! The true West Indian girl that she is, she of course expressed her discomfort not with the career choice per say, but at the mere fact that he even remotely feels like he can work for free, while there is no money coming in. I mean how are the bills going to get paid? You gotta write checks, not Press Releases!

Kev's reaction to her feelings was basically, on some “You’re not being supportive"! To that I quickly quipped, oh so being supportive means you should choose to not live in reality?!!" Your woman should be able to be 100 with you and prepare for this cold ass world out there! Ok money isn't everything, but we need it don't we?!!

A man should always position himself to be and remain a good provider; this is how the gender lines get blurred... No one is saying he can't and shouldn't do the PR thang, because let's face there a lot of people making great money doing it. But he's fooling himself to think this shouldn't be something that he does on the side of the job that's giving him a frigging check! I'm sorry that Kevin missed the memo, that he's no longer a child, and he has major responsibilities that can't wait for him to get ish popping, he needs to POP now!

In my younger 20 something days I dated pretty seriously an aspiring producer! And I was and still am his biggest fan! But when he tried that “I’m not going to hold down a job just try this producing shit"! I wasn't having it either! Nah u gotta get a job, and if you really love producing then you won't sleep, and you will get it done when you get off of work! Although we've remained like family to this day, we have never ever seen eye to eye about what he was willing to sacrifice, to make some beats! It wasn't that I didn't want to support my boo, and honestly I thought I was being the best kind of supportive, I was being Honest! I thought He was dope but in my opinion the plan sucked. Lol. I was coming from the school of realism, that shit didn't make sense to me then, and it doesn't now that it’s happening to Toya!

Fact of the matter is I'm Wayne's daughter and when bad luck came down on my family and my daddy lost his job; the house ran the same way! My mommy took care of her responsibilities for the house, and my father had his part, you can ask Lesma (mommy). My daddy wasn't wasting time just looking/waiting on his dream job; he took any and every job to take care of his family! And he did it without missing a beat! That's what I'm talking about! Handle your shit, don't expect your woman to carry you, Be the Man! I guarantee you won't like it when she starts wearing the pants!

At the end of the day, You gotta pay the cost to be the Boss!!

www.nicolespence.me

Ladies are you Rocking the Mic, and He's refusing to spit a Verse?

2009-06-22T11:41:00.000-07:00

Shit!! I can't tell you how much this scenario upsets me. To think this type of double standard still exists is mind boggling! I had no idea brothers like this were still around until 2 of my girls told me about the illegal activity taking place in their bedroom; their man hasn't gone down on them! Wtf!!
Meanwhile these ladies are routinely rocking the mic, for his pleasure as well as their own. Yup fellas a good mic checker likes to get on, at least you can do is return the favor!

The 1st victim of this BS is a young woman at the age of 25! Albeit she has some learning to do, but this is her story. This 25 tender roni is dating an older man, 42 to be exact! He is the typical older man sugar daddy. Provides support and takes care of them bills when they come a calling, doesn't hesitate to buy gifts for no reason. You know some pretty dope shit. When it comes to their sex life however, daddy aint licking shit! She is constantly complaining about her "desert" coochie, that's in desperate need of a kiss. She on the other hand, always ready to "Rep" her city has no problem blessing him. He doesn't even have to ask, this girl makes her oral transaction a precursor for more grown activity to come. Cat has never caught her tongue, so she has been vocal about it, and his response in a nutshell is the very gimmicky " My D**k does the talking", so take that! Hmmm this got me to thinking, what if she no longer wanted to mic check, what if that became her rule? Where the hell would her and this fool be? No where I bet!
He would have some other chick on the One and Two's wouldn't he? So with that said you already know how I feel about this shit, don't cha! I'm not telling her to bounce, but let's face he is leaving a big ass door open for some other dude to sweet talk his way to the sweet spot! She hasn't had head in a damn year, give me a break!

Moving on there is another girl out there who fell for the same okey doke! But this time the dude hit her in the head with the “I’m West Indian" shit! That line makes me laugh so hard! Oh please, give me a damn break! He's not doing it cuz he simply doesn't want too! And since he's getting his, there ain't no urgency in taking care of you! Yuck!

The first kiss below I ever got was from a Jamaican! And all my girls know about this dude, cuz my stories made him legendary!! Errol oooooooh babe, he had no problem handling his B.I. So 86 that West Indian crap!

This causes me to investigate how many other women and or men aren’t interested in the love below??

According to sexualityandU.com
38.8% of males reported giving oral sex to a female partner, and 51.5% reported receiving it! Do ya'll see those big number differences! What's going on in the world is what I ask ya! I think its ultra important for you and your partner to speak the same sex language, your woman's desires should never take the back seat to yours! I do understand that some women might not even be interested in receiving oral sex (yup they do exist) and I think that's just because she isn't comfortable about her lady parts!
I suggest you learn to embrace and love your "girlfriend"; she's not dirty or nasty.

This goes out to all, Sex is a beautiful thing, relax, enjoy, be open with partner discuss it! Let em in give em a taste!

www.nicolespence.me

You Don't Wanna Kiss Me, after I do what?

2009-06-18T06:20:00.000-07:00

I just love my guy friends we just always seem to engage in the craziest of personal conversations. Last night a friend of mine, hmmm let's call him Jack. Jack and I got together with my girlfriend Jihan and a light skin guy friend of his, whose name escapes me at the moment.

We of course start knocking back the drinks and adult conversation. Jack starts talking about " Yea ya'll can't handle me, I'm Nasty in bed!" (Oh word) He explains that has been to several sex parties and all type of menages. Shut Up! Who knew I was friends with such a freak nasty!

So what else do you do Jack? He repeats a lot of shit Nic! But you know what this girl tried to do after she gave me head? What?! I screamed thinking its gonna be some real nasty shit like, peeing on him! Lol. This fool said she tried to kiss me! Wtf?!! Are we Ten?!!

Okkkkk was this a skanky girl that you wouldn't have kissed otherwise? Jack says Nah that he's been rocking with ol girl for a while now. So I repeat WTF is the problem then? That's when he starts to scold me saying "Nicole are you serious?? That's some nasty shit! That's GAY! I'm not kissing no girl after she does that shit, not happening!

My response to Jack was then and still is : Grow up you Lame! Are you freaken kidding me??!!
Thank goodness my young lover(clue u in on him next blog..oooo chil!) doesn't share those bullshit hang ups! Jack is entirely too old 33 to be exact and shit almost got married to be walking around slinging lame ass sex! And yes I say it has to be all together wack, because he isn't all in sexually!

Instantly it became all to clear why jack has always and will remain in the friend zone, I guess I have always smelled the wackness!
And of course he in true lame fashion, he has the ultimate double standard, his ass wants to be kissed after he eats a girl out!
Then What The Hell Is the Problem?!

I wish I could shout his name and command these women to stop sucking this fool's d**k! But alas I can't! But you know who you are Jack and Nicole thinks your super Wack!!

And now I'll ask the rest of you men, do you have a problem with kissing after oral sex?!!

www.nicolespence.me

We're Married and Not having Sex! Stop the Insanity!!

2009-06-15T07:42:00.000-07:00

I was hanging out at one of my favorite eatery's Bar 89 the other night! Have you been? If not you must go and get the Grilled veggie plate, that ish tastes like Steak I'm telling you. My mouth is watering as I type! And they have great drinks and a uni sex bathroom (use imagination grown folk please) ;)

Ok back to the story.. So I met up with a guy friend of mine (non sexual) and 2 of his friends. One of them was actually a recently married woman. I'm always intrigued by the married species and I'm prone to ask a lot of questions about their relationship. And let's face it; it’s really none of my business but shit it never hurts to ask, so I ask! So me and this young woman who is in her early 30’s, very attractive tall modelesque frame with a wonderful advertising career, start chatting it up about "Married" life. Am I missing anything I ask? How's the sex? Yup I go in!

This is when she tells me, please we don't have sex! Hush your mouth! What??!! No sex?? Are you kidding me, what part of the game is that??!! I was truly concerned after she laid that news on me!

Apparently these 2 were never really sexually compatible! I see said the Cat! They have a great friendship, and she has always loved him, but honestly wonders if she was ever "IN Love" or just loved her man friend to pieces!

Shit this really made me want to examine myself more carefully, am I putting too much emphasis on sex?? To be honest it’s hard for love to truly come into my life without the sex being what I like and need!
So I'm totally clueless, how do you marry a man that has never put it down in the bedroom? I literally felt like a stranger in a strange land as she talked to me! "Where AM I"?

Apparently she fell for the" change"; he was so completely different from all the other frogs she's kissed in the past. He taught her things, they traveled to far away places together, weird and new shit like archaeological digs in Egypt! That's Deep!

But to put it mildly the sex has never been the "Best IN Show"! Yup that's right; there have never been any O's her life! SHAT! Her husband adores her and would like nothing better than to be inside her on a regular basis, but my girl would rather have a V8!

So what does a woman do when she thinks about sex all the time, but knows she won't get the sex she wants from her husband??!!!

She Cheats! She has little boyfriends here and there to pick up on what her husband can't deliver.

Nope I'm not condoning cheating, and of course me and my single behind ain't got no business telling any married couple to split! But shiiiiit, this ain't right!

Just when I was thinking something might be a bit off with how I maneuver through this dating jungle, I realize I'ma stick to my script! If the D**k don't fit, you must Acquit! Sex isn't everything and doesn't make a relationship, but it’s for damn sure the Glue!

According to http://www.practinet.com/MarriedWomenCheat.html, women are cheating on their spouses more than ever before!! Stats have jumped to a whopping 35%-45%, compared the Man’s 55%! The number 1 reason being Poor to No sex life and the number 2 reason is Loss of passion in the relationship!
Ladies stop settling for BS sex just to have a man or experience companionship! Be brave enough to navigate your life on your own for you. If the initial sexual encounter is lack luster, be honest with yourself! Can you really settle down with this particular short coming? Is this something you two could eventually work on? Or is his ass a loss sexual cause?! You're not fooling anyone with your dissatisfaction and at the end of the day the truth always comes out in the wash!

www.nicolespence.me

Take That Rain! I Got The Wet and Wavy!!

2009-06-11T07:27:00.000-07:00

I've been going to the same salon for years now, Pizzazz 333 Lennox aver @126th street in Harlem! Jacci is my hairstylist and she also the owner!

I have been driving her crazy with my reluctance to try something new! I'm the girl who has always stayed true to the Plain Jane look!
On any given day if you see me I would be rocking the mean front Swoop (got to cover my Tyra Banks forehead!) and my sides are either tapered or tucked behind my ears! And I'm ready to go! Lol.

On a bi weekly basis when I would make my trip to Pizazz, jacci would try to encourage me to try some new styles, maybe even a track or two! What Tracks?!!! Oh no I don't do fake hair; I can't do that Jacci no way Jose! Lol.

After what I'm telling you truthfully took years of coaxing I tried a track added to my front swoop! Whoa what a difference. I loved the look, and all she did was glue one track, no fakey look there. I'm safe!

Fast forward, time passes and once again its time to be open to a different look! Jacci asked me: Nicole what about sewing in some hair?!! Wtf you got to be crazy Jacci, I can't do that! That would mean I have a Weave! I've never even had braids! I'm the girl who doesn't even like makeup, much less to put a whole bunch of fake hair on my head! Nope not gonna be able to do it! My mind was made up!

So tell me how I ended up at Lugos hair store 205 1st Ave, to make my first hair purchase! Yikes! This place was amazing tons of hair everywhere and celebrity images depicting what the end result would look like. It was an intimidating process at first for the hair novice! But I did it! I bought 4oz of Wet and Wavy in chocolate brown. The hair came out to about $90, and it takes about an hour to have them put the loose hair on the track. So you can come back and pick it up when there done! I occupied my time at this really great boutique called Gabay’s that gets their merchandise from Bergdorf; I scored a pair of Jimmy Choos sandals for $100!!

So now I have my hair and it’s off to Pizazz! Darnell was the hair guru that put my wet and wavy tracks in for me! Boy is he quick! He left out a lot of my hair in the front so that it can blend nice with the hair!

Now the girl, who could never take anything extra added, is super souped off this hair! You can't tell me it’s not mine! Lol. The process to get ready has been cut dramatically due to this new look! I gotta be out the house @830, but now I can sleep till 8am!
The hair gets a little wet in the shower, I jump out and apply some leave in conditioner (Mixed Chicks, works wonders on these curls, purchase @ Ricky s beauty supply!) throw on my clothes and I'm ready to go!

So now I laugh at the rain (HaHaHA) and this BS weather we've been having! It only enhances my look, no more crying over frizzy bushy hair! I got the WET and Wavy, All is right in the world!

Pizazz salon : 212.665.8399

Darnell : darneli11@yahoo.com

www.nicolespence.me

She Wants It All the Time, Is Something Wrong With That?

2009-06-10T07:53:00.000-07:00

I chuckle as I write this, because I've wondered the same thing about me “Is my sex drive too damn high?" Any who this story isn't directly about me today.

Last week I got together for food and Patron shots with a very good girlfriend of mine, I just love her she's highly successful very pretty. We got to talking about men and relationships pretty recklessly due to the patron shots and a little pinch of fed up ness! This is when she tells me “Nicole I need it everyday, at least 3times a day!" Shut up!! You too I scream!! I thought something was wrong with me??!! Lmao. She explained that most men tell her that, they have never had this much sex in their life! Accuse her of being a Nympho! I was loving every minute of this hot steamy conversation of her sex demands i.e. You better give it to me in the morning too, what you think this is buddy??!!

Selfish me was happy to know that I have a fellow sista in the struggle, and cheered her on exclaiming that There Ain't Nothing Wrong with that shooooot, he needs to get with the program!

4 shots and a few fresh texts later as we "nymphs" tried to arrange our late night trysts, we asked each other again, is something wrong with the frequency and intensity in which we want to be satisfied ??

My answer is Hell No! Why shouldn't women be comfortable with expressing their sexuality, their desires, and fantasies! Men please don't' feel threatened by your woman's sex drive being higher than yours; there is nothing wrong or abnormal about her! Yup we want it in the morning, the afternoon, and if we could bounce out of work during lunch to get a quickie at some random location we would! Its a beautiful thing when you and your mate speak the same sex language, because there is nothing weaker in my opinion than a man that tells you "No baby not tonight"!

He Needs to Stop Selling Dreams! 5/26/2009

2009-05-14T16:01:00.000-07:00

There is this girl I know, and we're friends.
She has been sorta dating this guy, well they've flirted with the idea of being more, but never took it there fully. Why? Cuz he is always on some stop and go shit! You know one minute wanna kick things up a couple of notches and the next he's on his period!

I don't like inconsistency so I encourage her to dip out! Don't delete him from your phone, but he sure as hell shouldn't be in her top 5!She took my advice and remained out of the picture for a couple of months, and you know never really gave the idea of him another thought, other than the occasional " what the hell was his problem"?

Fast forward time passes and he reaches out stating how much he misses her ( oh yea? ) and get this, that he realized that he needs her in his life. ( Pretty heavy shit I thought). So they exchange niceties back and forth, but she's still wading in the water because she doesn't know what this brother wants.

They get together to talk face to face and he repeats the same heavy talk, " I need you in my life forever, I'd die without you". But once again this time around nothing changes, its still the same sporadic attention and time, for what?? Why did he even start things up?

My advice to her is simply if "we're friends" let's continue to be friends. No need to muddy the waters with bullshit sentiments. What I realize is that sometimes men are just looking for a reservation to be held in his name at Casa de Nicole! And I'm not having that, there are no reservations here.
Its first come first serve establishment.

Ladies sometimes these dudes fight just to remain relevant in your life, with no clear concept of what they want or how to obtain it. They just wanna know they can come in at any time and take a seat!

I'm not sure when selling a dream became a trend, but its really not cool. If I didn't know any better I would say, I bet he has a little one. This just seems like this would be associated with some little d*%k propaganda. Or is it just me?

Will Naked Drinks that Body Sex Ready? Nicole chats it up with Dr. Ian Smith to get you the Skinny!

2009-04-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

Hello Good People,

It's been a minute but I'm back with some Juice, literally. lol So I'm basically a creature of habit and tend to eat the same shit everyday, especially when I'm trying to watch my weight, which is pretty much all the time.

Everyday on the way to school I grab a Protein Zone Naked drink! I love these damn things, not just because it packs a walloping 30 grams of protein, which is uber important when you wanna lean out, but it tastes so yummy and fills my tummy! So it got me to thinking. Is this drink going to help me look good naked, or Am I messing with my sexy?

So I decided to call my good friend and celebrity fitness expert Dr. Ian Smith. After all Dr. Ian knows my single behind is trying to catch em, not scare them away!

He said the most important thing to watch out for is the sugar and caloric amount in these drinks. Protein Zone contains 28grams of sugar , with 220 calories, and again 30grams of Protein. He assured me that using Protein Zone, as a snack would be just fine. He stressed the importance of daily water intake, and a balance diet. Although initially these drinks won't make you fat, if you OD and drink it with a meal it can have adverse effects...Fat! And we don't want that!

So If you're doing the Naked thing be sure to check the back, so you can continue to build your temple to be worshiped.

If you Build it He will Come! lol

Magic Water

2009-03-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

I go through my periods where I forget the rules of engagement with food, and I just indulge beyond my limits. Normally the monstrous condition takes place 2 weeks before my Period.

I swear I put on what feels like a good 10lbs during this time. Anything that isn't nailed down, I'm Eating! Being that I'm trying not to have any more "Menstrual" jeans! I'm looking for ways to trick my tummy and make it full without filling out my mid section and further expanding my hips and bottom.

My new obsession is Protein Water! I'm sure you have heard how important it is to have protein in your diet, in order to produce lean muscles! I was skeptical at first but one day on the way to class,{ oh yea I'm back in school, fill you in on that next time} I was feeling hungry but I didn't really want a meal meal, just something to take the edge off so I can eat more sensibly at home.
Hello Good People,

This was the perfect time for me to try Special K's protein water, the Iced Tea flavor! I'm telling you it's Dope!It's a small box of 7 packets{ that you can easily carry in your purse} each packet is 40 calories with 5 grams of protein and fiber! All you need is your trusty water bottle and you're good to go. It tastes great and will totally take your hunger edge off right away. This way I'm not a slave to the vending machine. I tend to carry a Green apple in my purse at all times, healthy snacks alternatives are key.

So If your like me and hunger sometimes sneaks up on you and you easily feel dehydrated and weak Protein water is for you.

** Designer Whey and the South Beach Diet also makes their own version. but I don't care for the mediciney taste :(

And remember You Wear What You Eat!!

I have Homework but.....

2009-03-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys,

Sorry this blog is late and honestly I wasn't going to write tonight. You know why?? Because my behind went back to school! Yes! Since I'm starting a new chapter in my life, I decided to correct a wrong and Finish what I started, a degree in Forensic Psychology! It's allot but, I can do it and it’s apart of the bigger picture. I'll admit its a hell of a transition, I haven't been in school since 02! Now I have homework and can't watch TV! Feels like I'm living with Mommy/Daddy!
I have my first mid term on Wednesday in Criminal Justice, but today is Monday March 9th and that means Dancing with the Stars!!!

I just had to tell you how HAPPY I am that Melissa from the Bachelor is on Dancing With The Stars!!! YESSSSS!!! Take that Jason you big ol Loser!!! The Bachelor has me soo pissed off! I tell you, I was telling anyone that would listen about how much I loved Jason! I just thought he was amazing and I was crushed when he was hurt on the Bachelorette! Only for Jason to show me that I can't even pick a good man on TV!! He makes me Sick! And Ima make tee shirt about it! All my girlfriends are cracking up, cuz they I look for any reason to make a tee shirt! Lol

So back to Melissa, she is looking great, and with only 2 days to practice I say she did the damn thing! She can forget about that crybaby Jason and that stone face girl he picked. Melissa you're a star!

Ok now I gotta go back to studying for my mid terms!! ;/

Am I Too Picky?

2009-02-24T10:08:00.000-08:00

Clearly, I’ve been single for a while now. Some of my down time has been due to the shallow dating pool…“ I just don’t’ like him”. But, sometimes I gotta wonder, If I’m too damn picky and just cutting my nose to spite my face.

What brings this thought to me is the fact I think I’m catching the Vapors! Ahhh yes, I think I am. I’m laying in bed watching TV and this guy I used to see pops up in a commercial. Lol. I haven’t seen him in quite some time now and “Cori” was looking right! Damn Daddy! Immediately I’m like “Nicole what’s your problem?” How could you diss this brother? All my friends just knew my behind was crazy for this one.

Here’s the backdrop that lead to the diss: So, I met him through a mutual friend one night while out and about. Kori was an actor that was just starting to get some buzz. Man, we were instantly attracted, like bees to honey. He was just so damn cute and confident! We all sat for drinks, and I just knew Cori and I would be something hot. We secretly exchanged numbers, since I didn’t want my male friend all up in my business. We hung out repeatedly for the next couple of weeks.

Umm..attitude wise, he was chill. He did have moments of showing narcissistic behavior; you know that “I’m an Actor” shit. It didn’t bother me too much because “I’m Nicole” so, I was checking him on it, and he liked it, lol.

So, finally we got down to the nitty gritty, the “show me what you working with” moment. Things started out great, it was hot and steamy! He had sexual flow, no awkward moments of what to do next! As our session was coming to a close, my man let out a blood-curdling scream, “NICOLE!!!!!!” I jumped up! OMG! What happened? Shit! His climactic moment sounded like he was being attacked!! That shit scared the crap out of me, and I wanted him out of my place ASAP! I was just so freaked out by this freak! My damn sister lives upstairs, fool! What you think this is, lol?? Of course, he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to order pizza and shit, since his ass was now hungry, but I needed him to go….HE HAD TO GO! I draw the line at spending the night, damn it!

That was the first and the last time we got down, I never told him why, I just refused to partake any longer, which drove him crazy, lol.

What was his problem? Did he think that was sexy? Was the motherfucker acting? Lol, I didn’t know, and didn’t care!

Today, I’m wondering two things…#1, is he still a Screamer? And #2, am I too damn picky?? Since, I have the tendency to talk up the devil, and we know shit floats to the top, he’ll be calling soon, I’m sure! Lol.

what to do, what to do… giggles.

--

What Does Your Man's Body Look Like? 2/20/09

2009-02-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

What Does Your Man’s Body Look Like?

Ladies how important is it for your man or boo to be in shape, body right?

I’m wondering because I’m always obsessing about my body, more importantly my lack of muscle tone. Lol, seriously the people that know me, know me as the “Food Nazi”. Don’t even think about eating greasy fatty foods around me, I’ll go bizerick.

Oddly enough lately the “chubbsters” have been hollering. I think its because we’re making it too easy for them to feel sexy, “Oh Big Daddy”, well I’m just not into it.

So I’m pretty open about my body, its beauty and flaws. I dated this guy a while back, and he had a nice athletic build. I actually loved his body.

Anyway he knew that I’m all about fitness and eating right, even though sometimes I go weeks without squatting shit and eating emotionally. I’m Human! I just use my Joe’s jeans to keep me in check, when those bad boys don’t fit; it’s time to quit! {Like right now!}

So one day my little porn star surprised me with a gift. He bought me P90X! Have your heard of it? It’s a set of intense workout DVDs; there are 13 DVD’s in the set that you have to commit to for 90 days! It’s supposed to really “transform” your body. I didn’t know what to make of this! Was this motherfucker calling me Fat?? I mean P90X ain’t no cheap shit, its expensive. So that really got me thinking, “He thinks I really have a problem?”OMG!! And I’m naked all time and he gives me P90X! Confused and convinced that we would have sex no more, I turned to my girls, who all assured that he probably got it for me because he knows how crazy I am about my body! Of course we were still together after that, he thought I would have loved the gift. But I didn't.

P90X is no joke, you are literally co-signing for this man, Tony Horton, to come up into your house and Kick Your Ass! No thanks! Please note that P90x is still collecting dust on top of my fridge, no less! Lol

This story has sparked my mission {our mission join me} of no longer rebounding. I’ll be 30 and I’m going to be super tight, with a fluffy round bottom of course!

Is this just some women shit? Ladies are you satisfied with the way your man looks, when he strips for you? Or is he leaving his tee shirt on to cover his double D's or bird chest? Or is he soo hippy and doesn’t want you to see his girlie bottom so he sometimes leaves his boxers on, like we’re in high school sneaking a phuck! Lol.

As women I think we are so much more forgiving and tend to think his belly is cute, and adds character. Meanwhile, he isn’t smiling at those dimples on your ass, or that little muffin top you’ve been rocking.

So I’m saying today that I don’t like “Chubby”, I’m putting in the work and so should he! Women should be nice and soft to touch and men need to be hard and strong! Get it!

*** P.S. I’ve decided to get my Pilates Certification! So stay tuned to my fit tricks!

I Can't Make Pancakes Monday 2/16/09

2009-02-16T17:51:00.000-08:00

I Can’t Make Pancakes!

Again I’m about to be 30 in 3months and I can’t make pancakes. I’m not laughing. I woke this morning thinking I would make something special for myself, as oppose to my usual Smoothie. Pancakes sounded like a great choice, I’ll make buttermilk pancakes with Bacon!

But of course I don’t know any pancake recipes at the top of my head, so I went t o the food network for a recipe! I found it! Cakey Buttermilk Pancakes sounds yummy!! And I just got one of those nice flat griddle irons I’m in business!

Now I can read, and I thought I followed the recipe to the T, 1 ¼ cup of flour {I used whole wheat flour J} 1 ¼ cup of buttermilk, 2 eggs {egg whites J}, melted butter, and 2 tablespoon of sugar {I used Splenda J} Ok outside of the little adjustments that I made to the recipe, simply because I’m constantly watching my weight and I feel like we should have healthier variations to the meals that we love! Not only did the batter not get bubbly on top like the recipe said would be the indicator to flip these puppies, but it literally tasted like fried nothing {I used Pam J}

This makes me so unhappy, because pretty looks aren’t all. It got me thinking about how all women should have a signature dish that she makes the best and makes it with love! And I have none! None, none at all! I’m 30! I would like to say ideally that “ I can cook” when the truth really is “ I can eat”. Lol I drop the ball somewhere down the line from the actual food prep, till the point that it reaches the table! If it does make it to the table it doesn’t look pretty! So there won’t be any dinner parties at my place no time soon, which bites since my girls are dropping like flies and getting married!

How can I say that I want a good man, when I’ll have him starving?

So that’s it I’m going to learn how to cook, and the bonus to that is maybe my weight won’t go up and down! I’m serious, two times a week I’m going to cook a meal, either breakfast or dinner!

In the mean time Ladies please send me your pancake recipes or any good recipe for that matter Ima Cooking!!!! J

Has Your P*%#Y Been Placed On Injured Reserve?

2009-02-09T11:20:00.000-08:00

First, let me say that I hope no one is offended by the word. I prefer to use it, because I like it the best, LOL. Other words like coochie, sound like something that you can catch! Oprah’s word “VA JAY JAY” sounds too childish, and I’m serious about my shit! P*%#Y sounds sexy, nasty, passionate, all the things that sex embodies; so for this discussion we’re using it

Today’s discussion is one that I’m passionate about! I was talking to one of my besties, Jihan {hey girl} and she was breaking down a recent situation with this guy she’s been seeing. They’ve been dating for a little while and of course, they’ve been intimate. Recently, he has developed the pattern of sporadic sexual encounters! I’m talking about on some once every 2-3weeks!! WTF??

!! Excuse me??!! Jihanny asked me what this meant and I told her “You’ve been place on Injured Reserve!” For everyone who doesn’t know sports, Injured Reserve is a list of reserved players who are injured and unable to play for a period of time. See the thing about being on Injured Reserve is that you don’t actually have to be injured. The coach can just not want you to suit up and play. See where I’m going with this? This is basically where I would and I advise you to do the same: Break Out! Being a Franchise player, a Trade can always go down anytime in the season; and lucky for us, no co signing needs to be done on that decision. You can switch the game up {just like that Lame did} no matter where you two are in the season!

Inconsistent sex is a big “No No” in my book!

It really just opens the door for more sexual partners. Let’s say a girl prefers to be with one dude at a time, and she has a pretty healthy sex drive. A situation like this can totally mess her up. Now you’ve turned her into a starved dog! So it’s easier for the next dude to slide in and hit, because the shady individual she was messing with is too wishy washy with it!

Fellas, if you’re not putting in quality hitting time please don’t ask if it’s yours because it’s not!
Oh and I’ve been hearing some rumblings that these losers are now blaming the recession and the loss of a job as reasons why the bedroom has been lacking activity. Well you know what, that’s a big load of crap. What are you saying? You don’t have a job, so your d*%k don’t work? Things get tense, and you have stress in your life, let’s just “Fuck it Out!” A good session can make things look and feel a lot better. Besides why be broke and backed up?

Ladies, have you ever been on “Injured Reserved?” Hit me up at ….and tell me your stories!

Is Young More Fun?

2009-02-09T11:15:00.000-08:00

I'm a sexy soon to be 30year old woman... not quite at that the age where I could be labeled a Cougar. So, of course the notion of dating younger men seemed like a big waste of time! Why, you ask? Because in my mind, I'm like WTF is he ready for? And when I say young, I literally mean anyone below two years younger than me. Pointless! But you know what? I'll be 30 soon, so, I'm all about doing things differently and seeing what the outcome will be….

A girlfriend of mine, let’s call her "Renee" recently started dating (or let’s just say hooking up) with a younger guy. She is 30 and the guy is 26! Once she mentioned his age, I was like “Oh Please K.I.M {Keep It Moving}.” Then the story grew even more stereotypical...drum roll please...he wants to be a Rapper!! WTF?? Who has time to deal with that headache? "Not I" said the Cat LOL! The voyeur that I am found this story to be very interesting, because my formerly sex starved friend then began to describe a “sexcapade” of 10 rounds! Whew! Nice! I'm Jealous!

Apparently, this young lad never grew tired or limp (giggles). He wasn't the dreaded "one nutter"! My girlfriend who once shared my same sentiments: " MF is too young K.I.M!" was now lying spooned up with this young buck! She felt comfortable, so she was honest about her initial reaction to his career aspirations {wack}! To her surprise, she found out that "The Rapper" has a degree in Marketing, and can write his ass off! Light bulb! He's talented. Being that's she's in the entertainment field, they discussed other avenues where his skills could be used like "advertising". Then, they rested in between sessions and had a building dialogue. Now, this sex buddy doesn't seem that pointless. They had a great weekend of; I repeat 10 rounds {still jealous}! You never know they could be really good friends, or dare I say, "future Boos!”
I don't know but it has me wondering… Is Young More Fun?

Ladies, is young more fun? Hit me up and tell about your experience with younger guys...